{"id":12231,"date":"2011-10-26T07:13:35","date_gmt":"2011-10-26T11:13:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=12231"},"modified":"2011-10-26T07:46:22","modified_gmt":"2011-10-26T11:46:22","slug":"seen-online-35","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=12231","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

You’ve never had fun until you’ve jerked around and screamed, “It’s got me! It’s got me!” while checking your blood pressure at Wal-Mart.
\n— MistookMistake<\/a><\/p>\n

If I had three wishes, I’d first wish that my dog pooped candy corn. The other two wishes would be kind of irrelevant after that.
\n— AinsleyofAttack<\/a><\/p>\n

If aliens invade earth, I hope they\u2019re Bacon people. Because then I could totally<\/em> save humankind.
\n— Shoebox<\/a><\/p>\n

Anything related to Halloween doesn\u2019t scare me. What scares me is when I flush someone else’s toilet and the water keeps rising.
\n— MrFornicator<\/a><\/p>\n

Disney’s greatest crime is convincing people that Dalmatians shouldn’t be turned into coats.
\n— robdelaney<\/a><\/p>\n

BORED? Smile, nod and rub hands together as you enter an elevator. Shout, “THIS IS IT!” Don’t turn around to face the door. Not illegal.
\n— kellyoxford<\/a><\/p>\n

My son says he has trouble sleeping through the night for no good reason. So I bought him an evil clown doll.
\n— shariv67<\/a><\/p>\n

In a perfect world a “Party Pooper” would be someone who could shoot confetti out of their butt.
\n— sucittaM<\/a><\/p>\n

Me: I’m excellent at my job. You’re lucky to have me. Boss: Why are you waving your hand? Me: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
\n— Schmoodles<\/a><\/p>\n

Imagine a child, playing with chicken bones after the family meal, absorbed in his task. The pattern made by the neatly laid-out bones looks a bit familiar, but you can\u2019t place it. So you ask, “What\u2019s that you\u2019re making there?”<\/p>\n

The child looks at you and says, in a calm, quiet voice, “It\u2019s me.”<\/p>\n

Speaking for myself, at that point I go online and check to see if Amazon delivers exorcisms.
\n— Underwire<\/a>, on the Kraken thing<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You’ve never had fun until you’ve jerked around and screamed, “It’s got me! It’s got me!” while checking your blood pressure at Wal-Mart. — MistookMistake If I had three wishes, I’d first wish that my dog pooped candy corn. The other two wishes would be kind of irrelevant after that. — AinsleyofAttack If aliens invade […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12231","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12231"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12231\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12736,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12231\/revisions\/12736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}