Okay okay okay. Much like the “Trivia Tuesday” features started out as “Trivia Saturday” fillers for weekend NaBloPoMo posts, everybody seemed to like “Unspooky Saturday” enough to make it an occasional year-round feature. Suggestions for ghost stories to dissect are welcomed.<\/p>\n
My vague recollection of this story involves a man as the protagonist, but most of the search results seem to favor the girls-at-a-slumber-party angle, so I’m going with that. (And the core of the story was also the plot for a Western-themed episode of the Twilight Zone<\/i> starring Lee Marvin, but my vague recollections involve neither the Old West nor Lee Marvin so I don’t think that’s where I got the idea.) Anyway.<\/p>\n
—————<\/p>\n
okay so a bunch of teenage girls are having a slumber party
\nand telling ghost stories
\nand someone tells a legend
\nabout a guy buried in a local cemetery
\nwho apparently really doesn’t like to be disturbed
\nbecause if you stand on his grave at midnight
\nhe will reach up through the ground and grab you<\/p>\n
which definitely takes
\nhey you kids get off of my lawn
\nto entirely new heights<\/p>\n
and one of the girls is all citation needed bitchezzz
\nand the other girls are all how dare you question our entirely unsubstantiated beliefs
\nand tease her until she agrees to prove that the legend is false
\nby going and standing on the grave at midnight
\nhow this didn’t become an after-school special about the dangers of peer pressure I’ll never know<\/p>\n
so the girls all troop out of the house
\nand down to the graveyard
\nin their pajamas
\nin the middle of the night
\nleaving their parents wide open for a gross negligence lawsuit
\nand give the skeptical girl a knife<\/p>\n
the plan is that she will stick the knife in the grave
\nto prove that she was there
\ninstead of maybe just writing on the tombstone with a sharpie
\nand also where did a bunch of teenage girls in their pajamas get a knife<\/p>\n
but anyway<\/p>\n
the girl finds her way to the grave
\nand sticks the knife in the ground
\nand starts to walk away
\nbut she can’t because something is holding the hem of her nightgown
\nso she immediately decides that the most plausible explanation
\nis that the legend is true and the dead guy has reached up and grabbed her nightgown
\nand why is it that the dead are always so malevolent in these kinds of stories
\nwith the grabbing and dragging you to your doom
\ninstead of digging their way out of the ground and giving you a nice backrub<\/p>\n
but anyway<\/p>\n
the girl drops dead of fright
\nand in the morning her friends come looking for her
\nhaving decided that it makes more sense to wait six hours for sunrise
\ninstead of calling the police when she isn’t back after 15 minutes
\nand find her dead on the grave
\nwith the knife stuck through the hem of her nightgown
\nwhich she had mistaken for the bony clutch of the dead guy
\ncritical thinking fail<\/p>\n
the moral of this story is that skeptics tend to have messy fates in urban legends<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Okay okay okay. Much like the “Trivia Tuesday” features started out as “Trivia Saturday” fillers for weekend NaBloPoMo posts, everybody seemed to like “Unspooky Saturday” enough to make it an occasional year-round feature. Suggestions for ghost stories to dissect are welcomed. My vague recollection of this story involves a man as the protagonist, but most […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13278"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13278\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13345,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13278\/revisions\/13345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}