{"id":14277,"date":"2012-05-02T06:34:58","date_gmt":"2012-05-02T11:34:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=14277"},"modified":"2012-04-20T12:25:05","modified_gmt":"2012-04-20T17:25:05","slug":"seen-online-42","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=14277","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

Spent the last 2 hours whispering “here comes the tickle monster!” to the people that were bench pressing weights at the gym.
\n— iamyourguy<\/a><\/p>\n

So many funeral prank possibilities if you outlive your identical twin.
\n— KenJennings<\/a><\/p>\n

I’d watch the shit out of a reality show that’s a search for the most pretentious vegan.
\n— imaliwaller<\/a><\/p>\n

I didn’t hover round the business end [of my wife’s C-section]. I’m not a fan of innards. What if you go mad and lean forward and dunk a biscuit in them or something?
\n— Charlie Booker<\/a>, discussing his child’s recent birth<\/p>\n

I always sleep on a sack of knives in case a pillow fight breaks out.
\n— badbanana<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m the only one who knows this is a murder mystery dinner
\n— meganamram<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes when I use tampons I like to pretend that my vagina is knitting a little scarf.
\n— AinsleyofAttack<\/a><\/p>\n

The only relationship advice I have for the young ladies out there is this: Find yourself a goofy bastard. Trust me on this.
\n— Aimee_B_Loved<\/a><\/p>\n

I wish parents would watch their kids better because my basement is filling up.
\n— nachosarah<\/a><\/p>\n

If asked on TV what I’d do if I won $540 mil I wouldn’t say “Quit my job.” I’d look at the camera and say “Society will know soon enough”
\n— fmarciuliano<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Spent the last 2 hours whispering “here comes the tickle monster!” to the people that were bench pressing weights at the gym. — iamyourguy So many funeral prank possibilities if you outlive your identical twin. — KenJennings I’d watch the shit out of a reality show that’s a search for the most pretentious vegan. — […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14277"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14588,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14277\/revisions\/14588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}