{"id":16865,"date":"2012-12-19T06:31:03","date_gmt":"2012-12-19T11:31:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=16865"},"modified":"2012-12-19T06:39:47","modified_gmt":"2012-12-19T11:39:47","slug":"seen-online-50","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=16865","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I go out, I always carry a note that says, “THIS WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT”, so the police will have something interesting to do if I die.
\n— rolldiggity<\/a><\/p>\n

Christmas toy idea: a Tickle Me Kristen Stewart Doll except when you tickle her she just stares.
\n— prodigalsam<\/a><\/p>\n

If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to fuck with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.
\n— GuyEndoreKaiser<\/a><\/p>\n

The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn\u2019t the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they\u2019re hatching a dastardly plan.
\n— ChribHibble<\/a><\/p>\n

If you want your waiter to be extra attentive, begin your order with “Well, considering this is my final meal…”
\n— bridger_w<\/a><\/p>\n

All underwear is edible if you\u2019re willing to persevere.
\n— mrnickharvey<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s not a walk of shame if you do a victory lap of their house as you’re leaving.
\n— Paxochka<\/a><\/p>\n

If I was a capricious god, every time someone said they had to see a man about a horse, I would make them poop a tiny horse.
\n— sween<\/a><\/p>\n

James Bond Coca-Cola? Good idea! For as we all know, his catchphrase is “Coca-Cola: Shaken not-Oh for fuck’s sake it’s all over my tuxedo.”
\n— MrMichaelSpicer<\/a><\/p>\n

From now on, I’m only supporting celebrities I think would let me in their mansion during a zombie apocalypse.
\n— lifeserial<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I go out, I always carry a note that says, “THIS WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT”, so the police will have something interesting to do if I die. — rolldiggity Christmas toy idea: a Tickle Me Kristen Stewart Doll except when you tickle her she just stares. — prodigalsam If you live to be 100, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16865"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17130,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16865\/revisions\/17130"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}