{"id":21218,"date":"2015-04-29T05:19:31","date_gmt":"2015-04-29T10:19:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=21218"},"modified":"2015-04-29T18:52:04","modified_gmt":"2015-04-29T23:52:04","slug":"quickmyths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=21218","title":{"rendered":"#quickmyths"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cory O&#8217;Brien, who writes the marvelous <a href=\"http:\/\/bettermyths.com\/\">Myths RETOLD<\/a>, took to <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/bettermyths\">Twitter<\/a> with a series of &#8220;quick myths.&#8221;  Behold:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>CINDERELLA: Some girl crashes a bunch of parties and then gets married. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Girl falls in love with prince and they get married. This would not be a story except dude is ugly. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>THE FROG PRINCE: Princess murders sassy talking frog, is rewarded with marriage. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>EVERY FAIRYTALE: Something something something marriage. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>PERSEPHONE IN HADES: Girl is kidnapped. Mother gets to share custody with kidnapper because of fruit. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>APOLLO AND DAPHNE: Man sees woman. Man gets wood. Woman becomes wood. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>THE THREE LITTLE PIGS: Three homeowners are audited for unsafe building practices. Two are eaten. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>SNOW WHITE: Dumb girl chokes on apple, marries first guy who knows the Heimlich maneuver. #quickmyths (thanks @shannamann)<\/p>\n<p>HERCULES: Dude punches every animal in the world, then dies of a wardrobe malfunction. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>THE ODYSSEY: Dude bangs half the Mediterranean, kills the other half, then goes home to his wife. Best. Road trip. Ever. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>THESEUS AND THE MINOTAUR: Dude uses a sword and a ball of twine to kill the last surviving member of an endangered species. #quickmyths<\/p>\n<p>KING MIDAS: Dude gains the ability to transmute matter into gold. Conspicuously fails to become a supervillain. #quickmyths<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>These definitely cut right to the heart of the myth.<\/p>\n<p>There are plenty more that he didn&#8217;t cover:<\/p>\n<p>MEDUSA: Priestess forsakes her vows, is punished with a really bad hairdo.<\/p>\n<p>JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS: A bunch of men never stop to ask for directions.<\/p>\n<p>CRONUS: Dude can&#8217;t tell the difference between a baby and a rock, winds up in a very deep hole.<\/p>\n<p>Got any others?  Share &#8217;em in the comments!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cory O&#8217;Brien, who writes the marvelous Myths RETOLD, took to Twitter with a series of &#8220;quick myths.&#8221; Behold: CINDERELLA: Some girl crashes a bunch of parties and then gets married. #quickmyths BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Girl falls in love with prince and they get married. This would not be a story except dude is ugly. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21218"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24733,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21218\/revisions\/24733"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}