{"id":22606,"date":"2014-10-14T05:39:42","date_gmt":"2014-10-14T10:39:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=22606"},"modified":"2014-10-13T09:48:25","modified_gmt":"2014-10-13T14:48:25","slug":"seen-online-67","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=22606","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It’s just one boat, how many could there be, they said.
\n— ceejoyner<\/a><\/p>\n

“DADDY DADDY there’s a monster under the bed!”
\n*jumps up*
\nWHICH BED?
\n“mine”
\nOH THANK GOD. You’re on your own kid. Here’s a knife. Good luck.
\n— EndhooS<\/a><\/p>\n

If I was invisible, I’d find bad mimes and silently beat them to death. Just to give them one final, fantastic performance.
\n— rolldiggity<\/a><\/p>\n

Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn’t working.
\n— MooseAllain<\/a><\/p>\n

A graveyard full of blank gravestones and a can of permanent markers by the gate.
\n— NightValeRadio<\/a><\/p>\n

Wait — did Venkman just HAPPEN to have 300ccs of Thorazine on him when he went on his date with Dana? What was he planning?
\n— pattonoswalt<\/a><\/p>\n

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It’s not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
\n— vladchoc<\/a><\/p>\n

Write the name of someone you hate on your body everyday in permanent marker, so no matter how you die they’ll become a suspect.
\n— markleggett<\/a><\/p>\n

technically any building is a mausoleum if you die in it and they don’t find your body
\n— shutupmikeginn<\/a><\/p>\n

12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
\nMe: What’s wrong with the one we live in?
\n12yo: WHAT?!
\nMe: Goodnight, son.
\n— TheMichaelRock<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It’s just one boat, how many could there be, they said. — ceejoyner “DADDY DADDY there’s a monster under the bed!” *jumps up* WHICH BED? “mine” OH THANK GOD. You’re on your own kid. Here’s a knife. Good luck. — EndhooS If I was invisible, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22606","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22606"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22606\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23296,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22606\/revisions\/23296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}