{"id":25988,"date":"2015-11-18T04:30:06","date_gmt":"2015-11-18T09:30:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=25988"},"modified":"2015-11-18T07:09:56","modified_gmt":"2015-11-18T12:09:56","slug":"seen-online-80","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=25988","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

If I were Neil Armstrong, on my deathbed I would have whispered “We weren’t the first” as my last dying breath.
\n— IamJackyBlack<\/a><\/p>\n

Ladybug on the streets, praying mantis in the sheets.
\n— sween<\/a><\/p>\n

5-year-old: Why does Mom always wrap a towel around her hair after she showers?
\nMe: She’s hiding Lord Voldemort on the back of her head.
\n— XplodingUnicorn<\/a><\/p>\n

If you ask a dog if he\u2019s a good boy, legally he has to tell you.
\n— robfee<\/a><\/p>\n

[makes a voodoo doll of himself]
\n[gives it a little back rub]
\n— TheTimmyToes<\/a><\/p>\n

If I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I wouldn’t be saying “Yay!”
\n— UnFitz<\/a><\/p>\n

Actually, something wicked has already arrived.
\n— _oculusmundi<\/a><\/p>\n

I see the afterlife as nothing more than the promise of pantsing the non-departed.
\n— CM2BTTHD<\/a><\/p>\n

Really? A fucking salad??
\n– Julius Caesar coming back to life
\n— DaddyJew<\/a><\/p>\n

“I’m tired because my cat kept waking me up all night for cuddles,” he said probably-not-surviving-too-long-into-the-zombie-apocalypsely.
\n— sween<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I were Neil Armstrong, on my deathbed I would have whispered “We weren’t the first” as my last dying breath. — IamJackyBlack Ladybug on the streets, praying mantis in the sheets. — sween 5-year-old: Why does Mom always wrap a towel around her hair after she showers? Me: She’s hiding Lord Voldemort on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25988"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26573,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25988\/revisions\/26573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}