{"id":28246,"date":"2016-10-12T05:17:35","date_gmt":"2016-10-12T10:17:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=28246"},"modified":"2016-10-12T06:32:13","modified_gmt":"2016-10-12T11:32:13","slug":"seen-online-92","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=28246","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you’re not carrying around matchbooks from places you’ve been recently I don’t know why you don’t want your murder to be solved
\n— AndyRichter<\/a><\/p>\n

tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree – quick – bind it with the old magics before it wakes and turns to us again
\n— mallelis<\/a><\/p>\n

I saw a blind guy with a full sleeve tattoo and it made me wonder if he’d always been blind. Because that’s a lot of trust.
\n— mimismartypants<\/a><\/p>\n

Pro tip: “Foolish mortals” is a gender-neutral form of address.
\n— Black_Isis<\/a><\/p>\n

Now hang on–How are all these bats *getting into* hell in the first place?
\n— dessadarling<\/a><\/p>\n

Because telescopes work using mirrors, we will never know if space is full of space vampires. #Showerthoughts
\n— rShowerThoughts<\/a><\/p>\n

Google should do a thing where if you type in “clown sighting” the first result is always “BEHIND YOU” in blood-red.
\n— pattonoswalt<\/a><\/p>\n

*birds dress Cinderella for school*
\n*gets to school, goes into bathroom*
\n*buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*
\n— _ElvishPresley_<\/a><\/p>\n

Alright kid I’m gonna kill your whole family and leave you the sole survivor but don\u2019t like, dedicate yourself to revenge about it
\n[10 years later while hanging off the side of a bridge on fire, about to fall to my doom] man what did I say about this
\n— iscoff<\/a><\/p>\n

THIS PUB SELLS A BEER CALLED DORIAN GRAY. IT DOES NOT SELL THIS BEER IN PITCHERS. I CANNOT GET A PITCHER OF DORIAN GRAY.
\n— applebamos<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re not carrying around matchbooks from places you’ve been recently I don’t know why you don’t want your murder to be solved — AndyRichter tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree – quick – bind it with the old magics before it wakes and turns to us again — mallelis I saw […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28246"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28310,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28246\/revisions\/28310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}