{"id":28978,"date":"2017-08-22T05:33:54","date_gmt":"2017-08-22T10:33:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=28978"},"modified":"2017-08-18T06:35:16","modified_gmt":"2017-08-18T11:35:16","slug":"seen-online-100","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=28978","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there’s an increased chance that they will see you later.
\n— Pundamentalism<\/a><\/p>\n

I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn’t look like we’re six days into battling a poltergeist.
\n— LizHackett<\/a><\/p>\n

I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.
\n— awesomonster<\/a><\/p>\n

if i die on a hill it’s gonna be the bottom of that hill. i’m not climbing up a hill to die
\n— futurecreaturre<\/a><\/p>\n

*Heaven*
\nGod: you may ask me 1 question
\nMe: Why aren’t there lowercase and uppercase numbers?
\nGod: what?
\nMe: I wanna write loud numbers
\n— LeBearGirdle<\/a><\/p>\n

As your goth financial advisor I urge you to bury all of your possessions & then on your death bed whisper their location to a stranger.
\n— DothTheDoth<\/a><\/p>\n

I know that “rainbow bridge” thing people say when a pet dies originated in a poem, but I can’t help but think, “Mittens went to Asgard.”
\n— Jenny_Trout<\/a><\/p>\n

“Dad where do babies come from?”
\n“Son, when birds & bees mate, they make us afterward. We’re birdbees, son. Abominations. And we’re hunted.”
\n— Home_Halfway<\/a><\/p>\n

why did everyone play the recorder in fourth grade what were they training us for
\n— dariatbh<\/a><\/p>\n

I feel like I missed an amazing opportunity to make my wedding registry be only haunted dolls.
\n— LizHackett<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there’s an increased chance that they will see you later. — Pundamentalism I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn’t look like we’re six days into battling a poltergeist. — LizHackett I don’t have a resting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28978"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28978\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29042,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28978\/revisions\/29042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}