{"id":29307,"date":"2017-12-19T12:24:13","date_gmt":"2017-12-19T17:24:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=29307"},"modified":"2017-12-19T12:24:13","modified_gmt":"2017-12-19T17:24:13","slug":"seen-online-105","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=29307","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

if you own funko pops you have to fight every character you own in the afterlife when you die
\n— sadcrowprince<\/a><\/p>\n

A neat fact is that anyone with the surname of “Jones” actually begins life as a “Jone” and only evolves once they devour another Jone or Jones.
\n— SamSykesSwears<\/a><\/p>\n

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.
\n— DothTheDoth<\/a><\/p>\n

God wrest ye buried gentlemen from your eternal sleep
\nIt’s time to dig your way out from your slumber six feet deep
\nI need to raise an army and the living don’t come cheap
\nOh, zombies, submit to my command
\nheed my commands
\nOh, zombies, submit to my command
\n— KestrelPi<\/a><\/p>\n

Up on the rooftop, click click click \/
\nClick click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click \/ down through the chimney with
\nM I L L I P E D E S
\n— jephjacques<\/a><\/p>\n

Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* haha stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself
\nSister-in-law: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket
\n— smithsara79<\/a><\/p>\n

In the meadow we can build a snowman
\nAnd pretend that he’s a circus clown
\nHe’ll say “we all float here” we’ll say “NO MAN”
\nAnd get the freakin’ hell out of this town
\n— vixy<\/a><\/p>\n

Toddler, sleepily: “A lot of people live in our house.”
\nMe: “Momma, Matty, and me. That’s all.”
\nToddler, pointing behind me: “And them too.”
\nI turn to see an empty hallway. I’m 99% certain it was an empty hallway.
\n—————
\nUpdate! Talked with the wife. Turns out my toddler has been talking a lot about “When I was big.” Like, he told her today: “When I was big, I lived in France.” Do I… do I need a young priest and an old priest?
\n— jeremiahtolbert<\/a><\/p>\n

Mozzarella sticks are like fish fingers that successfully got themselves deprogrammed from a cult
\n— rstevens<\/a><\/p>\n

This is going to be a stressful week. Remember to take care of yourself.
\n1. Eat regularly
\n2. Stay hydrated
\n3. Don’t look in the closet
\n4. Groom
\n5. Don’t listen to the voice telling you to go in the closet
\n6. Bathe
\n7. Don’t listen to the carousel music playing from the closet
\n— SamSykesSwears<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

if you own funko pops you have to fight every character you own in the afterlife when you die — sadcrowprince A neat fact is that anyone with the surname of “Jones” actually begins life as a “Jone” and only evolves once they devour another Jone or Jones. — SamSykesSwears Dracula had it right, sleep […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29307"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29337,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29307\/revisions\/29337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}