{"id":29863,"date":"2018-10-16T05:42:16","date_gmt":"2018-10-16T10:42:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=29863"},"modified":"2018-10-12T10:44:06","modified_gmt":"2018-10-12T15:44:06","slug":"seen-online-120","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=29863","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

The reason sex with a vampire doesn’t usually result in pregnancy isn’t because their sperm is dead, it’s because the vampire can’t come inside without an invitation.<\/p>\n

Thank you for coming to my HaunTED Talk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

— alexandraerin<\/a><\/p>\n

“I’m lonely,” she said, “do you have a potion for making friends?”
\n“Sure. Drink this,” the witch said.
\n“Tea?”
\n“Yep. What’s on your mind?”
\n— ASmallFiction<\/a><\/p>\n

I notice Autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.
\n— Friedrich Nietzsche<\/p>\n

A vampire bat’s stomach quickly absorbs all the water out of the blood it drinks, and they pee while feeding to offload it. So. That fog people associate with vampires is probably pee mist. Or they carry a change of pants.
\n— Megiavelli<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s the zombie apocalypse!<\/p>\n

Most people are working on taking out zombies, finding shelter or escaping the city, but not your party.<\/p>\n

You’ve got a bunch of spray-cans and it is your duty to spray ominious, cryptic graffiti everywhere to make sure that the ruins fully fit the genre.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

— probablybadrpgideas<\/a><\/p>\n

hey, I just met Zeus
\nand this is crazy
\nbut he’s a swan and
\nI’m having babies
\n— roboticcrab<\/a><\/p>\n

dr frankenstein: it’s alive
\ndr frankenstein: speak
\nmonster: am i the product of peer reviewed research
\ndr frankenstein: uh
\nmonster: do you have the paperwork with the sources of all my body parts
\ndr frankenstein: well no
\nmonster: good god this lab is pile of osha violations
\n— wawoodworth<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s an open secret that all archaeologists, librarians, curators, book dealers and archivists are secret agents. When we say “out of the office”, we mean “screaming GIVE ME THE OTHER HALF OF THE AMULET to a rival whilst battling with them on the edge of a waterfall”
\n— Sotherans<\/a><\/p>\n

if you’re ever feeling alone just remember that aladdin’s best friends were a monkey and a rug
\n— savittj<\/a><\/p>\n

Potential pantheon of old ones for our D&D campaign, as named by the resident creepy child NPC:
\nMr. Watches You In The Corner
\nOld Lady Spiders Inside
\nThe Lumpy One
\nNobody Is There
\nJust, Like, A Cat
\nThe Fish With No Eyes
\nForever Screaming With A Candle
\nSharp Teddy
\nMother Squish
\n— alexandraerin<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The reason sex with a vampire doesn’t usually result in pregnancy isn’t because their sperm is dead, it’s because the vampire can’t come inside without an invitation. Thank you for coming to my HaunTED Talk. — alexandraerin “I’m lonely,” she said, “do you have a potion for making friends?” “Sure. Drink this,” the witch said. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29863"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29863\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29910,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29863\/revisions\/29910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}