{"id":30260,"date":"2019-05-07T05:16:13","date_gmt":"2019-05-07T10:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=30260"},"modified":"2019-05-04T17:17:04","modified_gmt":"2019-05-04T22:17:04","slug":"seen-online-128","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=30260","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop]
\nDeath: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
\nDrugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
\n— Ygrene<\/a><\/p>\n

Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.
\n— dorsalstream<\/a><\/p>\n

My son has reached an age where he’s becoming curious about the human body, so I think I’m gonna have to drag it out of the crawlspace and bury it behind the shed.
\n— thechrisschmidt<\/a><\/p>\n

The worst part about insomnia is having to eat spiders while conscious
\n— Prof_Hinkley<\/a><\/p>\n

My outgoing message on my voicemail is 40 seconds of my dog licking himself. If you want to leave me a voicemail you’re gonna work for it.
\n— jessokfine<\/a><\/p>\n

[getting ready for plans I shouldn’t have made]
\nME: *standing in shower opening and closing shower curtain* here, killer killer killer
\n— PleaseBeGneiss<\/a><\/p>\n

“I see my assassins failed.”
\n-how I’m going to greet people from now on
\n— Buffalojill<\/a><\/p>\n

if a ghost picks a fight with you keep your elbows tucked in aim for the soft spots and remember someone already killed that motherfucker once
\n— minkpinkustink<\/a><\/p>\n

i don’t go in bouncy castles because i’m afraid of bouncy dracula
\n— blainecapatch<\/a><\/p>\n

When God closes a door, he opens a window, and that’s how all the angel squirrels got in here.
\n— dorsalstream<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop] Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands — Ygrene Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps. — dorsalstream My son has reached an age where he’s becoming curious […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30260"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30260\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30333,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30260\/revisions\/30333"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}