{"id":30610,"date":"2019-10-15T05:55:46","date_gmt":"2019-10-15T10:55:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=30610"},"modified":"2019-10-11T09:56:28","modified_gmt":"2019-10-11T14:56:28","slug":"seen-online-133","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=30610","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bard: “What’s all this?”
\nPaladin: “The druid is in time-out.”
\nBard: “What’d you do?”
\nDruid: “I was selling a gluten-free organic all-natural weight-loss thing.”
\nBard: “And?”
\nDruid: “It was just hungry wolves. Lots of ’em.”
\nPaladin: “DO NOT GIGGLE AT THE DRUID’S ATROCITIES.”
\n— boomer_kid<\/a><\/p>\n

No one ever talks about how an oubliette implies the existence of a larger, and far more terrifying, oobly.
\n— Brainmage<\/a><\/p>\n

[job interview]
\ninterviewer: so god killed all your kids?
\njob: that’s right
\n— DanMentos<\/a><\/p>\n

Zdzis\u0142aw Beksi\u0144ski: So first I\u2019ll paint some happy little trees
\nBeksi\u0144ski: maybe a little bush
\nBeksi\u0144ski: now a crumbling gothic cathedral covered in a pulsing web of arteries
\nBeksi\u0144ski: you know, whatever makes you happy
\n— midnight_pals<\/a><\/p>\n

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted
\nI don’t get it. I’ve lived here for 273 years and not noticed anything strange.
\n— badjokesbyjeff<\/a><\/p>\n

The fandom surrounding Pennywise as a character feels really weird considering Pennywise does not exist whatsoever in-canon and is only one of many, many illusory avatars invented on the fly by the Deadlights to eat people with. Yall think you’re thirsty for a baby eating clown but really just want to bang an alien’s novelty chopstick collection.
\n— bogleech<\/a><\/p>\n

every morning our cat moves her toys from the bedroom to the living room while screaming, and every night she moves them back, also while screaming. i don’t know the purpose of the ritual but it is the central pillar of my faith
\n— paranaturalzack<\/a><\/p>\n

WIZARD: demon I have summoned you to instruct me in the carnal arts
\nSUCCUBUS: *hands textbook* turn to page 23
\n[5 HOURS LATER]
\nSUCCUBUS: and that covers STDs, bringing us to protection. do you still have the ritual banana I gave you?
\nWIZARD: ☹️ yes
\n— deathbybadger<\/a><\/p>\n

[Lord Byron after Percey Shelley died]
\nhey guys
\nyou think maybe I could keep his skull?
\njust as a keepsake
\nnot going to do anything weird with it like turn it into a goblet or something
\noh these? yea ok yes these are my skull goblets, from a totally unrelated thing
\n— DanaSchwartzzz<\/a><\/p>\n

i wish dwarves were real just because the folk metal they would produce would be completely unfathomable
\n— tripropellant<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bard: “What’s all this?” Paladin: “The druid is in time-out.” Bard: “What’d you do?” Druid: “I was selling a gluten-free organic all-natural weight-loss thing.” Bard: “And?” Druid: “It was just hungry wolves. Lots of ’em.” Paladin: “DO NOT GIGGLE AT THE DRUID’S ATROCITIES.” — boomer_kid No one ever talks about how an oubliette implies the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30610"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30677,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30610\/revisions\/30677"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}