{"id":30876,"date":"2020-01-07T05:42:08","date_gmt":"2020-01-07T10:42:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=30876"},"modified":"2020-01-03T11:30:31","modified_gmt":"2020-01-03T16:30:31","slug":"seen-online-137","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=30876","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

I love how Satanic cults in movies always speak in Latin as if Satan had been around for billions of years, encountered the Romans, and then was like “damn this language is IT y’all hell yeah im writing ALL my contracts with this bad boy”
\n— ckunzelman<\/a><\/p>\n

ghosts are so funny. they’re people who were just like “actually, fuck dying” and decided to cause problems on purpose for the rest of everyone else’s lives. goals tbh.
\n— generalgrievousdatingsim<\/a><\/p>\n

Charlie Brown is an adult now. Snoopy is merely a security question.
\n— 1followernodad<\/a><\/p>\n

To kill a French Vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart. Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
\n— CatstreyDave<\/a><\/p>\n

dear santa,
\ni have been nice all year. please use one of your limited christmas miracles to make vampires real. you will not have to bring me any presents on any subsequent years because i do not plan on remaining on the nice list after you make good on this
\n— garregmach<\/a><\/p>\n

Of course I have body issues, I can’t explode into a thousand bats.
\n— requiem-on-water<\/a><\/p>\n

CLERIC: prepare to die, monster. your days of hunting the innocent are over
\nVAMPIRE: lol no-one “hunts” people anymore
\nVICTIM (muffled through gag): bite me vladdy
\nVAMPIRE (cracks riding crop): freely given consent is the cornerstone of safe BDSM. safeword is “garlic”
\n— deathbybadger<\/a><\/p>\n

My kids asked why we don’t have an Elf on the Shelf, and I used that meme, “You don’t bargain with the fey, and you don’t invite them into the house.” My younger boys laughed, but my 12yo gave me big eyes and said, “Wait. Are you serious?” Now I want to know what he’s let in.
\n— BrigidKemmerer<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes I look at accounts and media that glamorize weddings and I feel like some women only want to get married to wear a pretty dress, and that makes me sad. You can just as easily get to wear pretty dresses by pledging your soul to Black Phillip
\n— MaraWilson<\/a><\/p>\n

You’d better not shout
\nYou’d better not cry
\nYou’d better watch out
\nI’m telling you why
\nThe creatures are blind but their hearing is incredibly acute, as is their sense of smell. And they’re hungry. So hungry…
\n— theplaguedoc<\/a><\/p>\n

lovecraft: so yeah so this monster looks super fucked
\nreader: oh man how fucked
\nlovecraft: you know
\nreader: i truly do not. give me a description???
\nlovecraft: ( \u0361\u00ba \u035c\u0296 \u0361\u00ba)
\n— ryandroyd<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I love how Satanic cults in movies always speak in Latin as if Satan had been around for billions of years, encountered the Romans, and then was like “damn this language is IT y’all hell yeah im writing ALL my contracts with this bad boy” — ckunzelman ghosts are so funny. they’re people who were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30876"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30915,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30876\/revisions\/30915"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}