{"id":31677,"date":"2024-01-15T12:45:35","date_gmt":"2024-01-15T17:45:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=31677"},"modified":"2024-01-15T12:45:35","modified_gmt":"2024-01-15T17:45:35","slug":"seen-online-159","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=31677","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

every time my knees crack that is simply my skeleton saying hello
\n— Kristen_Arnett<\/a><\/p>\n

If you put some holy water in a cup with dish soap you can catch vampires that are in your carpet at night.
\n— gingerbreadgolem<\/a><\/p>\n

[being buttered]
\nme: what the hell
\nmurderer: (apologetic) you know what i brought the wrong frickin knife
\n— ygrene<\/a><\/p>\n

[ 4 dentists coming out of the woods ]
\nme: hey weren’t there five of you
\nthem: (in agreement) no
\n— FredTaming<\/a><\/p>\n

I love autumn. I love bonfires and apple picking and carving pumpkins. I love feeling the chilled air when I lure a mortal into the mist and turn them into a thing of the woods using dread forest magic.
\n— Jamberee13<\/a><\/p>\n

Hey I saw you from across the bar but my girlfriend didn’t. Are you some manner of spirit
\n— dreg-heap<\/a><\/p>\n

Pro tip: Everyone knows you can kill a vampire by driving a stake through its heart but did you know you can also use this technique to kill almost anything else?
\n— bombsfall<\/a><\/p>\n

Gentlemen, we are once again gathered here by my milkshake
\n— KimmyMonte<\/a><\/p>\n

why are billionaires even on twitter. if I had that kind of money I would go around telling people “what do you call that device you’ve got there? a ‘smart phone’? how quaint, I only communicate via messenger pigeon” before riding off on a chariot pulled by iguanas
\n— VeryBadLlama<\/a><\/p>\n

Almost forgot to pay the cheese tax tonight. Can you imagine. I could’ve gone to Jail For Mother
\n— lasrina<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

every time my knees crack that is simply my skeleton saying hello — Kristen_Arnett If you put some holy water in a cup with dish soap you can catch vampires that are in your carpet at night. — gingerbreadgolem [being buttered] me: what the hell murderer: (apologetic) you know what i brought the wrong frickin […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=31677"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31677\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31696,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31677\/revisions\/31696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=31677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=31677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=31677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}