{"id":9132,"date":"2011-01-04T07:40:49","date_gmt":"2011-01-04T11:40:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=9132"},"modified":"2011-01-03T09:10:06","modified_gmt":"2011-01-03T13:10:06","slug":"seen-online-23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=9132","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

When adults tell kids “You’ll understand when you’re older,” it means “you’ll understand not to ask.”
\n— donni<\/a><\/p>\n

Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you.
\n— YUCKYBOT<\/a><\/p>\n

If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it’s a murderer, disguised as a duck.
\n— robdelaney<\/a><\/p>\n

If you spell it “grammer”, you don’t get to correct it.
\n— MeetingBoy<\/a><\/p>\n

Sleep tight! And if you should die before you wake — did you clear your browser history?
\n— thomaslennon<\/a><\/p>\n

I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
\n— kellyoxford<\/a><\/p>\n

The post office should have a theme song and it should be played by Slayer.
\n— AinsleyofAttack<\/a><\/p>\n

Why is it always hair loss & incontinence? Why can’t playing the oboe or the power to summon eagles be side effects? Looking at you, Pfizer.
\n— derekasaurus<\/a><\/p>\n

People who say “If I disappeared, no one would notice” are wrong. Anyone who actually saw you vanish would be pretty freaked out.
\n— capricecrane<\/a><\/p>\n

There is porn in Hell, but it’s skeleton porn :(
\n— serafinowicz<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When adults tell kids “You’ll understand when you’re older,” it means “you’ll understand not to ask.” — donni Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you. — YUCKYBOT If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it’s a murderer, disguised as a duck. — robdelaney If you spell it “grammer”, you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9132"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9579,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9132\/revisions\/9579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}