{"id":9913,"date":"2011-03-23T07:08:19","date_gmt":"2011-03-23T11:08:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=9913"},"modified":"2011-03-07T09:04:58","modified_gmt":"2011-03-07T13:04:58","slug":"seen-online-27","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/?p=9913","title":{"rendered":"Seen Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

This all-you-can-eat buffet is a rip-off. There are so many things I can eat that aren’t here. For instance: crayons.
\n— sween<\/a><\/p>\n

If I could have dinner w\/ any 2 people from history, I’d pick Anne Frank & Hitler, because it would be so awkward for Hitler.
\n— nealbrennan<\/a><\/p>\n

I cope better with the loud stomping of the lady upstairs if I imagine that she’s a Tyrannosaurus who just was told about masturbation.
\n— AinsleyofAttack<\/a><\/p>\n

Sleep tight! And if I’m the one who finds your dead body. I will dress you up like a Smurf, and say that’s how I found you.
\n— thomaslennon<\/a><\/p>\n

Planting a mime in my backyard. Not for a mime tree. Just had to put the body somewhere.
\n— donni<\/a><\/p>\n

Aquariums are supposed to be stress-reducers, but the one full of lobsters at the grocery store gives off really tense vibes.
\n— Shoebox<\/a><\/p>\n

the eyes are the windows to the dollhouse I made out of a human skull!!
\n— bubblebathos<\/a> <\/p>\n

If all the farts in this bedroom ever coalesce, that is gonna be one scary ghost.
\n— BarrettChase<\/a><\/p>\n

I bought my wife a Japanese sex toy but it got away and scuttled up to a corner of the ceiling where it’s now just staring at me. Silently.
\n— peterbyrnes<\/a><\/p>\n

Does Jesus have a vestigial organ made of Communion wafer? Or does he just hack willy-nilly? “This is my body. That’s a toe!”
\n— sween<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This all-you-can-eat buffet is a rip-off. There are so many things I can eat that aren’t here. For instance: crayons. — sween If I could have dinner w\/ any 2 people from history, I’d pick Anne Frank & Hitler, because it would be so awkward for Hitler. — nealbrennan I cope better with the loud […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-peculiar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9913","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9913"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9913\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10264,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9913\/revisions\/10264"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9913"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9913"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.shadowmanor.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9913"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}