Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
— Lit Pimp Queen

Seven Deadly Sins (updated): PWN’D, NOM, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU, WANT, WANT, WANT, and meh.
— sween

“You’re not the person I fell in love with!” is a fun thing to say to anyone who isn’t the person you fell in love with.
— sixthformpoet

A good way to make a car dealer uncomfortable is to say, “Tell me if you can hear this,” and then get in the trunk and start screaming.
— rolldiggity

I make sure people who claim they don’t have time for my nonsense remember they weren’t doing much when I found them so actually, they do.
— JTQuest

Roses are black
Violets are white
I’m a dog
— UNTRESOR

SCIENCE FACT: Your throat hurts when you’re sick because your white blood cells have brought out tiny swords and are dueling with the germs.
— MaraWritesStuff

It’s weird how after they couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King’s men were like “Let’s give the horses a shot at it”
— mikeleffingwell

I’m not a cyber-bully but I did change my WiFi network name to “I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING STEVE”. Sleep well neighbor. Sleep well.
— PaulGibson1963

Yesterday: Used poor grammar on multiple occasions.
Today: Hiding from grammar zombies in the attic.
Tomorrow: IMMMPROPER TENSSSSSSSSSSE.
— sween