The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

April 29th, 2014 by Cobwebs

There’s a really great article about you in tomorrow’s paper. Nice photo of you on the front page too. Wish you’d be able to see it.

I am rubber and you are glue. We used to be people, but we angered a witch.

If your grave doesn’t say “rest in peace” on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

The most powerful man in the forest is the lumberjack who decides which trees become guitars and which trees become toilet paper.

Next time your roommate texts you to keep it down respond with “I’m not home right now…” just to give them some perspective.

Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.

A big difference between childhood and adulthood is how much time you spend telling ladybugs their house is on fire.

For fun, you look through the wrong end of the binoculars. Very far away, it seems, there is a man reaching for something with gloved hands.

Willy Wonka is the best movie about cheering on child murder

I want to defend a penguin in court just so I can say, “Your Honor. My client is clearly not a flight risk.”

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