The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

November 25th, 2014 by Cobwebs

I like how the first instruction of “stop drop and roll” is “stop.” Like you might have just kept doing what you were doing, but in flames

raccoons are just dogs that have learned witchcraft

periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder

For $5 I will go to the funeral of someone you hate and start a slow clap.

if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check

Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you’re a wizard

A banjo is just a guitar that wants to show you a dead body.

what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent

I’m guessing the ‘element of surprise’ is probably arsenic

I also want a vampire movie where everyone hasn’t grown weary of LIFE after a measly 300 years, vampires thrilled by toothbrushes & planes
Like Spikes monologue in season 3 but they feel that way all the time and go to museums and love 3D movies

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