The Art of Darkness

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April 14th, 2015 by Cobwebs

He died doing what he loved most: not being dead.

i just saw a 24 hour carwash. If you’re washing your car at 4am you just killed somebody.

what are girls doing when they go to the bathroom together? we’re casting spells

I’d like the backstory on 90% of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.

When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for two?”, I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”.

I’m a health goth in the sense that I fantasize about death every time I work out.

everybody’s scared of the dark until they become it

Tomorrow I’m calling a guy who interviewed me 5 years ago asking where I saw myself in 5 years to let him know that I was wrong.

When you have a torch, everything looks like a Frankenstein.
Burgeoning Lads of Science

Did you just say “go east” instead of “turn right,” you pompous little direction shitlord?

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