The Art of Darkness

Shower Thoughts

June 11th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Reddit has a category called Shower Thoughts, where people share the random minor epiphanies that often seem to hit when one is standing in the shower. A Tumblr called Just Shower Thoughts collects some of the best of them. Some are amusing–I think my favorite is, “I wonder what my dog named me”–but a lot of them are nicely macabre. Here’s a sampling:

Tomorrow I graduate. In all likelihood at least one picture taken will be used at my funeral to remember me. Tomorrow I pose for my funeral.

Most people are buried in suits and stuff so a zombie apocalypse would be a formal event

Eating a potato is pretty Irish, but so is not eating a potato.

When there’s an earthquake, coffins become huge underground maracas.

A good tattoo parlor would be one that keeps a couple dictionaries in the waiting room.

Candles are how we keep fires as pets

I wonder if I’ve already bought the clothes I’m going to die in.

Ice cubes float around in pools of their own blood…

Whenever I kill a bug, I wonder how many zillions of years back we shared a common ancestor. Aeons ago, a clutch of eggs hatched; some young wriggled this way, others that way; the lineages diverged…and now these two descendants have met in this fatal way.

“Show them what we’re made of” is a terrible battle cry when fighting with swords.

The swimming pool in the Titanic is still full.

I just realized that “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side” is a joke about suicide

If the first person Arnold had encountered had been a drag queen on a motor scooter, The Terminator would have been quite a different movie.

Spiders are the classic everyday vigilante. They are generally misunderstood, everyone hates them, and yet, they protect us from having to deal with all of the shitty bugs we would otherwise encounter in their absence.

There are songs you’ve already heard for the last time.

There’s also a Twitter feed run by the moderators which features additional gems.

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