The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

December 25th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Well the weather outside is frightful
But inside is equally frightful
No matter which room you go
Full of crows
Full of crows
Full of crows

why do ghosts and demons respond to fake Latin chanting?
because they don’t speak Latin either
they just go along with it because they have social anxiety

It’s actually only “Frankenstein” if it’s created in the Frankenstein region of France. Otherwise, it’s a sparkling monster.

ghostbusters are always like who are you gunna call? ghostbusters! but it’s hard enough to call the doctor’s office i’m not gunna call the ghostbusters i’d just live with a ghost in my house forever
who you gunna call? no one i have anxiety

I love candles. They let us take an ancient, devouring force of nature that’s older than life and stick it in a little jar on the shelf. A candle is essentially a tiny, adorable pet god.

Kid: Santa, what’s the story of your reindeer names?
Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!
Kid: What about Donner?
*a dark countenance settles on Santa’s face*
Santa: the year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada-

When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he was like ha ha damn, good job, me. Good job at all the successful conquering, Alex. And being very handsome also

the funniest vampire bullshit will forever be some vampire lamenting having to kill while theyre actively killing and monologuing like “truly, I am the most hated creature in god’s narrowed eye, the new modern prometheus, my purpose an eternal question, my existence a curse. is there a single person, even a fleeting thought, that has ever spent a moment beneath the same moon as I while feeling this unique pain? Pity me, world, for no one now is as miserable as I”

and the dude literally bleeding to death in the vampire’s arms, they never get a line, but if they did, it would probably be “okay now hold up if this is a contest about who’s having the worse fucking night,”


“Whats UP YOUTUBE! Today we gonna do another Unboxing Video!”
*a shovel in hand, I enter the Graveyard*

I wish other holidays had traditions like mistletoe. I want two people standing under a dead bat on Halloween to get cursed together.

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