The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

January 29th, 2019 by Cobwebs

for the last time: it’s only amontillado if it’s from the montilla region of spain. anywhere else and it’s just a fino. i have some in my basement if you want to educate yourself. come look

Wild bee: just getting snack
Me: no prob bee

Mason bee: just make house
Me: build a way b

Honey bee:jus sampling the lavenders
Me: you know I got an assortment

Bumble bee: hey *bonk* I jus *bonk* I h
Me: *holds flower still*



This season’s color palettes are: the blood of your enemies, the bones of those who stand against you, the wind howling amongst the forgotten tombs of all those who thought you small and weak

Your eye is a collection of cells that evolved to borrow the radiation from a fiery ball of superheated hydrogen and helium in order to gather information about objects outside your physical reach. Vision is a kind of divination shaped and fueled by a cosmic inferno.

The moral universe of Charlotte’s Web only makes sense if sentience extends all the way down to spiders and then hits a hard fall-off before flies.

“Eating this pig would be wrong,” Charlotte said, as half a dozen muffled, pleading voices vibrated the web beneath her legs.


MOVIE IDEA: Jason Voorhees kills a guy, who it turns out is an actual goalie. His team sees Jason, assumes HE’S their team-mate, Jason has a new career. Jason turns out to be really good, so his team starts hiding all the murders he’s committing.

DM: At bar you see a cloaked, hunched over man. He wears a crown of bone and blade, surrounded by three sentient rings of fire. His arm is made of steel.

Players: who else is in the tavern

DM: uhhhh theres a goblin named Sam Smorkle

Players: I want to talk to Sam Smorkle


The weatherman just said the roads are treacherous — but just how treacherous are they?
Would they, for example, cruelly blacken your name to your lover in order to curry favour?

*Victorian House Hunters*


HENRY JAMES: I should like a kitchen whose concept is – how shall I conceive of it – not closed, not in some way occluded, but bright, agape, unrestrained as a verdant Tuscan meadow; open, in so many words

HOST: And that’s the full 22 minutes


Man, think of how confusing it would’ve been if just the Ghostbusters song was released, no movie.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

Sing a Song of Link Dumps

January 25th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Spiderween – An in-depth “arachnophobe-safe” guide to spiders.

Born to Be Posthumous – The “definitive biography” of Edward Gorey. (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Fossil Cookies – Cute, easy idea for making edible “fossils.” The walnut dough seems like more trouble than it needs to be; I’m sure any firm sugar-cookie dough would work just as well.

Getting Dressed in the 18th Century – Working Woman – Part of a series the National Museums Liverpool has put together on 18th Century costume. There are also examples of an upper-class woman and gentleman that will make you deeply grateful for jeans and a T-shirt.

Zdzisław Beksiński – Supremely creepy art by a painter with a tragic history.

Dinosaurs – Artist Shimoda Masakatsu makes dinosaur sculptures–some wearable–from stuffed white cotton. (Hat tip to pdq)

Mutant Giant Spider Dog – This small dog dressed as a giant furry spider just wants snuggles.

Mawwiage in Tights – A Princess Bride/Robin Hood-themed wedding.

Warg – This made me giggle immoderately. (Some of the other cartoons on the site are NSFW-ish.)

Cthulhu Mittens – Free knitting pattern full of Lovecraftian goodness.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

The Link Dump and the Carpenter

January 18th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Why Snowpiercer is a sequel to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – This makes a weird amount of sense.

Fantasy Tumblr Would be Fucking Insufferable – An amusing thread.

DRAGULA: Season One Premiere – A search for “the world’s first drag supermonster.” (Hat tip to Bruno Bruno’s boyfriend)

Snowmen – An entry in Bogleech’s “Halloween Bestiary.” (Links to previous entries are at the bottom of the post.)

A Gift Giving Guide for Your Dark Valentine – A gothy roundup.

The Mended Spiderweb Series – Artist Nina Katchadourian used red thread to repair torn spiderwebs. These are oddly lovely.

The PoohingThe Shining comes to the 100 Acre Woods. Mildly NSFW due to cartoony nude bear portraiture, which is not a sentence I ever though I’d write. (Also see Alien vs. Pooh.)

Mehndi Cookies – Instructions for making gingerbread hands with edible “henna” tattoos.

Black Red and Poe Wedding Ideas – Although I question using “Nevermore” as a thematic element in a wedding, there are some lovely, elegant ideas here.

Bridges on the Body – Blog devoted to corsetmaking.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

The Link Dump of Edwin Drood

January 4th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Necronomicon Plush Cushion – This is certainly a…unique…accent piece. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Universal Horror – Nicely creepy short story.

Hair Skull – I’m not sure how much gel would be required to hold the curves in place, but this hairstyle is pretty cool.

Lace Cement Votive – Interesting DIY votive.

Inferno – Super-neat interactive map of Dante’s Inferno. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Pictures Of Saint Margaret of Antioch Where The Dragon Seems Like a Mild Inconvenience at Worst, A Beloved But Naughty Household Pet at Best – A thread of greatness.

Roly Poly Pill Bug – Knitting pattern for an adorably cuddly wood louse.

In the Late December – A sweetly hopeful story at the heat death of the universe.

Victorian Cannibalism – Interesting thread on how cannibalism was just one of those expected things for Victorian sailors, and how that finally changed.

Two Girls One Ghost – A horror comedy podcast in which “Best friends bonded by their paranormal experiences…recount their contact with the other side, tell each other ghost stories and invite listeners to join in on the fun.” (Hat tip to Bruno)

Posted in Link Dump | 9 Comments »