The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

June 15th, 2021 by Cobwebs

Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing.

Funny how if you have two beautiful blue eyes, that’s a good thing, but if you have twenty beautiful blue eyes, you’re “a monster,” “a space alien,” “probably the source of the telekinetic damage to the White House,” “killable, scientists speculate, only with an atomic bomb.”

I’ve given it a lot of thought and my love language is that I will hold a grudge on your behalf until the end of time.

[creating catholicism]
priest: what should people say to start confession?
me: forgive me father, for I have sinned
priest: seems long
me: sorry I was bad, daddy
priest: ok no go back

Today is a good day to wear your cloak and sword, travel to a ruined temple on the lost coast, and stop an incursion by Igleth, the Horned God of Destruction.
Or curl up and read a good book.
Either is fine.

live your life in such a way that your heirs sort through your possessions whispering “what the fuck. what the FUCK. What in the SHIT.”

Just heard a conspiracy theory that the Loch Ness Monster is actually the ghost of an ancient dinosaur, and since it affects nothing and nobody I’ve decided I believe it, as a treat for me

I moved into a two family house and it turns out our upstairs neighbor is a beekeeper. There’s 20,000 bees in the backyard. She said they’re friendly and will learn my face and behavior pattern and not bother me. I do not want 20,000 bees knowing my face and behavior pattern.

Canonically, the Lord of the Rings is a memoir by hobbits, which has several detailed descriptions of meals throughout, so maybe the whole saga is just one of those recipe blogs where they have to tell you a whole epic story before getting to the food.

Unpopular opinion: the best thing young people can do early in their careers is say “please” to the Dread Pirate Roberts so that they may become his valet and eventually assume the title when he retires

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