The matches for our Secret Santa Can Suck It exchange have been made and sent to their assignees. After everyone posts about their “gift,” I’ll list all of the entries to peruse. To kick things off, here’s mine.

My giftee is Pensive Pumpkin. Rivaling her love of spooky things is her love of running, so my gift is a spooky running package.

We’ll start with a new workout wardrobe, with skulls featuring prominently:

Next, a new iPhone…

…loaded with helpful workout apps, including Zombies, Run!.

After that, an extended trip to Europe to participate in the marathons of her choice and spend her downtime visiting gothy locales like cemeteries and catacombs and castles.

Finally, she needs a personal trainer and workout buddy, and really the best possible choice would be Alan Rickman, whose bona fides are easily seen in clips like this and this (both NSFW). He’ll be available as necessary for morale-boosting and soothing massages.

Happy Holidays, Pensive! I hope you enjoy my “gift!”