I can’t begin to imagine how much pressure there must be within the skeleton community to know how to play the xylophone
— bridger_w

When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
— Sassafrantz

Right now, there are millions of formally dressed skeletons in our ground.
— icandodge

If you were at a party with a vampire and drew on his face, he would never find out.
— jfader2

Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
— behindyourback

If someone says they’re gonna open up a can of whoop ass, that means someone out there is canning whoop ass…I’d be more afraid of that second guy.
— ChrisTaliaferro

The 1840’s called. Mostly ghosts.
— david8hughes

My parents are always pestering me to have kids. “Who will carry on the ancient family curse?” they say.
— undeadmolly

what if the spider I killed in my home has spent his entire life thinking he was my room-mate and that suddenly I had some sort of psychotic break
— TheGamingDame

A heart shape with initials cut into the tree bark means someone went on a date with a knife.
— ashley76

benedictcumberreichenbach:

ninepulse:

Did you know that you actually can never forget a face? Every single face you’ve ever seen during your life gets stored into your memories, and gets used up later. For example, in dreams your brain can’t just make up a face. Every single face you’ve seen in your dream, you’ve seen somewhere once in your life.

And those strange nightmares you’ve had of those terrible demon like creatures?

You’ve seen them around too, you just cant remember. You don’t want to remember.

this post started off as a John Green novel and ended as a Stephen King.