The Art of Darkness

Animal Poop Candy

April 14th, 2016 by Cobwebs

Animal Poop CandyI don’t blog much about “gross-out” foods of the type that sometimes make an appearance at Halloween parties because they don’t really appeal to me, but I’m making an exception in this case because honestly my mind is sort of blown.

Travel and Leisure has a roundup of “bizarre” souvenirs that have been available at Disney parks, most of which aren’t really bizarre so much as anachronistic: Today it may seem odd that Disneyland once had a tobacco shop, but when the park opened in the 50s it was a natural enough fit. One entry, however, brought me up short: Last year, a shop at Disney World’s Animal Kingdom briefly–very, very briefly–sold candy shaped like four different kinds of animal crap. Specifically, Tamarin, Elephant, Giraffe, and Hippo. The candy was available for a two-week period, after which it was pulled due to “guest complaints.”*

The part that I found just completely mind-blowing is how in hell this ever got greenlit. I worked for Disney. They do not just casually roll out a new product. There are meetings. There are memos. Multiple levels of management are involved. There are planning sessions and recipe standardization and sample tastings and packaging decisions and requests for signage and employee training. At no point throughout this entire process did nobody in the decision-making chain go, “Um…?” Really? Nobody?


According to SheKnows, the Tamarin poop was made from pretzel pearls, chocolate-peanut butter fudge, and sweet rolled oat flakes; the Elephant was chocolate-peanut butter fudge with sweet rolled oats and yellow coconut flakes; Giraffe was rolled chocolate fudge brownie and caramel; and Hippo was chocolate fudge-caramel brownie with peanut butter and rolled oats. Those combinations actually sound pretty tasty, and the candies are certainly easy enough to make and shape.

The animal-poop thing might particularly appeal to kids (it’d be an amusing addition to a zoo- or safari-themed party). Or, y’know, serve it to your friends and then sit around wondering what the hell Disney management was thinking.

*Which I take to mean one thunderous, collective, “What the Actual Fuck?”

Posted in Paint It Black | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. Pixel Pixie Says:

    Wait, you, of all people, are turned off by gross-out goods?

    I guess The bloody intestine cinnamon rolls at the next Halloween party aren’t for you.

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