Welcome to my bed and breakfast. You have the choice of being buried in the attic or basement. Just kidding! The haunted dolls decide.
— JRobb773

there is one rat for every person in new york city
if you live in new york city then one day, when you die, your personal rat will appear and lead you to the underworld
— kuttithevangu

If I were Belle, there’s no way I could shit in the castle. How do you know that’s a real toilet, not Hank the servent with the scat fetish?
— Aimee_B_Loved

There is nothing like the sound of a child’s laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted.
— HMittelmark

During the heat wave look in on elderly relatives and neighbors. If they’ve become avatars of the sun, bow and sing the old hymns again.
— MagicWeather

Extroverts get energy from interacting with people; introverts get energy from the blood of an ancient god found beneath the old city
— SeeBeeWhitman

Oh sure, we work hard, but we also play hard. And we die hard. Most of us can’t be killed without magic.
— BeTheCookie

NURSE: What’s your blood type?
ME: Oh, I’m not picky. I’ll drink any kind.
NURSE: What?
ME: What?
— dafloydsta

The boys are back in town. It’s a 17 year cycle. They’ll die off in a few weeks. We’ll sweep millions of boy carcasses out and carry on.
— Brockway_LLC

those who make fun of you for reading fairy-tales won’t know how to work the counter-spell when you turn them into geese.
— SketchesbyBoze