The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

November 27th, 2018 by Cobwebs

THERAPIST: did you work on communication
1ST CERBERUS HEAD: they won’t share the ball
2ND: i want the ball
3RD: i would also like the ball

Ruined my day by realizing that the song Monster Mash is about a song called the Monster Mash and we’ve never actually heard that song.

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early
astronaut: moon’s haunted
nasa employee: what?
astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon’s haunted

– Parallel parking my time machine

Y’all ever flex on vampires by just walking into people’s homes uninvited

The veil is thin here. It’s thin everywhere. Of course it’s fucking thin. Who ever heard of a thick veil? That shit’s lightweight, even sheer.

Like, shit, Agatha. There’s a reason they don’t call it “the down comforter between worlds”.


Me: *destroys spider web
Spider: wow
Me: *puts up fake spider web
Spider: WOW

Me: So Christ’s body is the bread?
Priest: yes
Me: and he rose from the grave
Priest: yes…
Me: because of the yeast?
Priest: no
Me: okay, none of this makes sense

me with a tarot deck: i activate the hanged man’s special ability. this lets me draw the devil from my deck into my hand. next, i sacrifice the hanged man in order to summon death. with death on my field, the effect of my tower spell card lets me summon the devil from my hand,

People always throwing cursed objects into the sea hello, no that is how you get haunted sharks

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. Mike Perry Says:

    FYI, the Monster Mash is a dance (which was essentially just the mashed potatoe with stiff arms) so the song is about the dance not another song.

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