the most unrealistic thing about the Girl with the Green Ribbon is that she wasn’t constantly untying the ribbon as a dare, to the delight and horror of her friends, at college parties
— SketchesbyBoze

It’s not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.
— longwall26

I feel like I’m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don’t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
— LizHackett

what’s the stupidest, most trivial thing you would do, if you had the ability to time travel without affecting history? personally, I would make T. S. Eliot watch Cats
— underthenettle

<the invention of gryphons>
lion: we absolutely cannot tell your husband
eagle: I THINK HE’S GONNA FIGURE IT OUT, KEVIN
— cavaticat

*walks into an antique store* i’d like to see your most evil items, please
— generalgrievousdatingsim

My 9yo upon seeing David Bowie for the first time: “That’s a fancy vampire!”
— lyzl

Teaching a writing class for under-10s:
Me: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?
Small boy: A character!
Small boy 2: A setting!
Small girl, a gleam in her eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.
— JacksonPearce

If you gaze long into the abyss, please wear a face covering and maintain social distancing. No more than six people are permitted to gaze into the same abyss, and different households must not gaze into each other’s abyss without first self-isolating for fourteen days.
— thewritertype

tired of men telling a lady what she can and can’t do: “don’t wear lipstick” “don’t have opinions” “don’t fake your own disappearance to lure a policeman out to a remote isle where he will be burned in a wicker man”
— SketchesbyBoze