Seen Online
Oh honey, that’s just how old houses are. They settle. They sometimes creak or groan, or quietly weep, or demand blood sacrifice in voices that sounds like the fluttering wings of a thousand moths. It’s just the house settling. For whatever it can get. Go back to sleep.
— moniquill
Inside you there are two wolves. They are both very tired and are doing their best.
— ChuckWendig
I maintain that the moral of A Christmas Carol is actually “never go with a ghost to a second location”
— kmkirtland
I’m not the main character I’m one of the housekeepers hearing strange noises coming from the third floor of this Gothic manor and simply saying “that’s not my business”
— SparkNotes
Make a movie about the TA who had to teach 90% of Indiana Jones’ classes.
— TheAndrewNadeau
I like to play chess with old men in the park. (The tough part: finding 32 of them.)
— EmoPhilips
During plane turbulence it’s fun to touch your temples and pretend you’re experiencing a premonition.
— louisvirtel
You want me to apply for a fellowship? After what happened to Boromir?
— astrobassball
Ladies, remember that if someone asks you “why do you not have kids yet” over the holidays, the appropriate answer is, “Alas, because I promised my firstborn to the forest imp who spun my straw into gold!”
— Iconawrites
i am super skinny in that i am like covered completely in skin
— jennschiffer
Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »
March 16th, 2022 at 8:03 am
Emo Philips is a treasure.
April 2nd, 2022 at 6:34 am
My two wolves want to run away and hide away from the real world…
May 26th, 2022 at 5:17 pm
aww, come on, house, you deserve better, you don’t have to settle!!
Also I love the ideas for turbulence and why no kids. “Do you want Rumpelstiltskin to have joint custody, huh? DO YA?”