The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

December 13th, 2022 by Cobwebs

a movie where the family 100% knows the house is haunted but, due to the housing shortage, decides to just make the best of it. like remember kids, buddy system!! if spiders come out of the faucet you can skip bath! there is never a good enough reason to go in the cellar!!

saying “hm. must be the curse” every time something bad happens and refusing to elaborate is my new hobby

You never hear about Cinderella’s Fairy Godfather who turned all of her enemies into corpses.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day
You stuffed it underneath the floorboards with the rest of my corpse until the sound of my heartbeat intensified your descent into madness

First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol
First night as a vampire hunter: oh no

did we ever find out how the vampire’s interview went? did he get the job

sorry for my behavior, my leitmotif was playing in a minor key

man: but what about the times i saw 8 footprints on the beach?
spiderchrist: [hiding in the shadows] oh that was just normal beach stuff. step into the web my child

To me, Christmas isn’t about perfection or consumerism. It’s about family togetherness. It’s about trading ghost stories with will-o’-the-wisps. It’s about forming snow into giant crabs and bringing them to life. It’s about running from the peppermint beasts in a torchlit cavern.

H.P. Lovecraft: Your limited human mind cannot comprehend Cthulhu
Me: (comprehending easily) Squid guy

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