The Art of Darkness

Humorous Interlude

June 14th, 2012 by Cobwebs

Long ago, when I worked for a video store–I had bills to pay and some karma from a past life to work off–one of my colleagues was a guy named Pat. Pat was one of those slyly humorous slacker geeks with an encyclopedic knowledge of everything from D&D arcana to obscure comic book characters.*

One day he told me that he’d once successfully convinced a PE teacher to excuse him from running laps by claiming to have been stung by a triffid. The best part was when the teacher said sympathetically, “Yeah, that can be painful.”

I really miss Pat.

*In fact, one of the first times I was made to literally fall down laughing was when I was trying to remember the name of that monster that sits outside of Egyptian Hell and eats peoples’ hearts (it’s Ammit, so you don’t have to look it up**), and I asked Pat if he knew. Without missing a beat, he said, “Phil.” I said, “Phil?” He said, “Yeah. I don’t remember his last name; you work with a guy for a couple thousand years, you get friendly.” I asked, “You used to work with Phil? What did you do?” He smiled and replied, “I used to oil the little scales.” As I was leaning against the wall, cackling, he continued, “I had to quit, though. There were union talks, and they said that I’d have to wear the head of an animal. And that wasn’t so bad, but all they had left was a budgie.” Which is when I fell down. But I digress.

**Which would take you 0.5 seconds. But I was asking before the Internet existed, so my only other option was to go to the library and look it up. And also get off of my lawn.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 5 Comments »

5 Responses

  1. xJane Says:

    ::gets off lawn::

  2. MoQ Says:

    We can only wish we all could work with such a person once in our lives.

  3. Janice Says:

    Thank you. If you’ve lost track of Pat and I steal this and use it around the water cooler at work can you assure me that he won’t pop up out of an alternate reality/level of hell and slap me with with a restraint order?

  4. xJane Says:

    Janice: I think she can’t assure you of that—which is even better!

  5. WitchArachne Says:

    Ahahaha I’m going to have to tell a few friends that one. My bestie is going to love it.

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