The Art of Darkness

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November 28th, 2012 by Cobwebs

I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archaeologist will have one awesome day at work.

If you do an image search for “Coughing”, you get photos of people performing fellatio on ghosts.
— Cameo Wood (Hat tip to LimeyFish)

i saw an ad on craigslist once that said “free firewood, u collect it” so i wrote the guy and said “bud you just wrote an ad for the woods”

I finally learned how to teach my guys to ID the passive voice. If you can insert “by zombies” after the verb, you have passive voice.

Tampon/pad packaging and advertising is such a wasted opportunity. It’s all flower pink shit, when you could instead feature a bunch of explosions and heavy metal music and slogans along the lines of “CAN YOU BLEED FOR DAYS AT A TIME AND NOT DIE? THEN USE METALBADASSBLOODTEX PADS/TAMPONS, ‘CAUSE THEY’RE AS MUTHERFUCKING HARDCORE AS YOU ARE.”

I bet every recipe for disaster has raisins in it.

Please, God, never hand me a baby anywhere near a basketball hoop

I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.

dammit owls you KNOW who this is

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn’t really have to wear clothes ever.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 5 Comments »

5 Responses

  1. xJane Says:

    Someone told me the coughing thing last week and I spent the next hour at work trying not to giggle out loud.

  2. Sisifo Says:

    Not going to lie, I’d totally buy those tampons.

  3. Kaitlin Michelle Says:

    That sounds like a much, much better way to advertise tampons!!! I LOVE THAT!

  4. WitchArachne Says:

    That would indeed be an awesome day at work. The artefact washers might be a little annoyed by their confetti-clogged toothbrushes though.

    Now I’m going to go and google “coughing” and laugh like a drain.

  5. Terri Says:

    lord-kitschner has the right idea.

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