going to sign every cast with “sorry I pushed you down a well”
— IamEnidColeslaw

Next time you’re on an elevator with a stranger say, “If the doors open and it’s all zombies, let’s team up.”
— thesulk

The Hobbit is so unrealistic. How are that many guys with beards not in a band
— bridger_w

What exact year did “making love” stop meaning “wooing someone” & start meaning “doin it”? I bet there were some hilarious mixups that year!
— KenJennings

My kids have been so awful today I keep expecting the Oompa Loompas to appear and sing songs about them.
— DannyZuker

I dress like a time traveler in a romantic comedy trying to figure out what people wear.
— shelbyfero

Live your life like if those Pac-Man ghosts were chasing you.
— samalmightysam

Watching Gremlins. Obey the rules FFS! If I was in this film, it would just be 90 mins of a safe dry Mogwai in lots of different outfits.
— SarahMillican75

Learning what it means to be a man. Got woken in the night by our daughters music box slowly playing a lullaby and was only medium terrified.
— Anonymous (seen here)

1. Dress as surgeon. 2. Stand in hospital corridor holding deer antlers. 3. Shout into phone, “WE CAN’T KEEP PLAYING GOD!”
— rolldiggity