The Art of Darkness

Kosher Imaginary Animals

April 22nd, 2008 by Cobwebs

In honor of Passover, Evil Monkey was inspired to quiz a Jewish friend of his as to the kosher potential of various imaginary animals. He’s put together a handy guide, just in case you’d like to know if you can take a bite out of a Chupacabra or a Bugbear and still remain observant.

Man-Eating Tree – A: “Tree part yes, man-eating no, therefore treyf.”

Mermaid – A: “No, for the obvious reasons.” EM: “What if you marry one? Is that kosher? Will a rabbi marry you?” A: “Kosher is a term about eating, not about sex.” EM: “I’m not talking about sex–I’m talking about marriage!” A: “If the mermaid is Jewish, the rabbi will probably marry you. But only if you’re Jewish too. But you’ll definitely have to find the right rabbi…”

Mongolian Death Worm – A: “No, because you cannot eat anything that crawls on its belly.” EM: “Does that mean an injured kosher animal that is crawling along isn’t kosher any more?” A: “Yes, because you can’t eat an animal that’s been injured or is sick.” EM: “It’s a wonder you haven’t all starved to death.”


Link (via BoingBoing)

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. Kitten Herder Says:

    Tee hee. I love it. I really do have to wonder about some of the other mythical creatures. Unicorns would be out, but would the Chupacabra, since it is kind of a goat and goats are allowed?

  2. Cobwebs Says:

    I think the “blood-sucking” part probably disqualifies it.

  3. Michael Croland Says:

    Sure, the list of imaginary kosher animals is a hoot, but it’s got nothing on the list of gentile animals. Cast your vote for the most “gentile” animal!