The Art of Darkness

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June 18th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Sometimes you have to invite your demons right through your front door and serve them tea and cookies, and before too long you’ll realize they aren’t giant ogres with sharp claws and blazing eyes, but frightened children that have tiny arms and feet.
Swirly Girl

My clumsy, sweatpants-clad seduction was timed to commence with his morning wood and a Rush song. I’m not a sex kitten, I’m a sex LOL cat.

Rainbows and cupcakes and dreams. All of these live in the magic world of Happy-Wonderful Land, but only one of them is edible: sugary, creamy, sinfully fudgy cupcakes. Technically, dreams would also count if you sauteed them long enough.
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Nobody ever thinks it’s their monster that’ll end up in a burning windmill.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
— Anonymous

If you like to get off by choking yourself with a rope or belt, at least have the decency to write up a “Not suicide, jerking off.” letter.

“Better late than never” is a great motto, but a terrible start to a eulogy.

My mother’s obsession with the good scissors always scared me a bit. It implied that somewhere in the house there lurked: the evil scissors.
— Tony Martin

What I love about the internet is if my leg fell off, I’d get a lot of messages going, “Poor you!” but at least one saying, “Can I have it?'”

Vampirates. This has to be something.

You know what’s funny? Kittens. Not so much funny ha-ha as funny tasting.

Was reading Poe last night. It was, in fact, so raven.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. xJane Says:

    omg, the evil scissors made me guffaw out loud in my room by myself! And my mom totally had good scissors! Maybe she kept the evil scissors to herself.

    Also, I’d like to sign up to be a vampirate, please.

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