The Art of Darkness

Five Little Link Dumps and How They Grew

June 15th, 2012 by Cobwebs

Absinthe-Flavored Coffee – I object to the product description, in that I don’t think anything flavored with absinthe could properly be called a “cup of Joe.” (Hat tip to Linda)

Cristoforo Font Kickstarter – Something something Lovecraft font something. Honestly, the attempt to juxtapose font recreation and Cthulhu had me cocking my head like the RCA dalmatian.

Death Week – A roundup of death-related topics from io9.

Ectoplasm – The cutest little needle-felted hunk of supernatural goo that you will ever see. There’s a second view here.

Victoria Lounge Chair – This has just become the top item on my furniture wish list.

Haunted Fabric – Custom fabric printer Spoonflower’s “haunted” tag turns up a number of lovely patterns, including several riffs on the Disney Haunted Mansion wallpaper. (I would suspect those get copyright takedown notices occasionally, so order while you can.) Also check tags like “spooky” and “monster.”

iPhone Charging Station – From Reddit, a splendid Kubrick-esque phone charger made from Legos.

Robocop Remake – The ThinkGeek blog puts it better than I could: “Robocop remake? Maybe okay. Starring Hugh Laurie, Gary Oldman, Joel Kinnaman & Samuel L Jackson? WELL THEN.”

she didn’t float – Photoblog of odd old photos. Some are creepy. Some are NSFW, so beware. (via Mr. Macabre)

Bat Hat – The expression on the face of this fleece “bat” hat just cracks me up. The seller also has a cute Cthulhu version.

p.s. – I’m going to be dragged, kicking and shrieking, away from the computer for a week. Due to the magic of advance scheduling posting will continue as usual, but if you email and I don’t respond I’m not ignoring you. (Or…am I? Muwahahahaha.)

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Humorous Interlude

June 14th, 2012 by Cobwebs

Long ago, when I worked for a video store–I had bills to pay and some karma from a past life to work off–one of my colleagues was a guy named Pat. Pat was one of those slyly humorous slacker geeks with an encyclopedic knowledge of everything from D&D arcana to obscure comic book characters.*

One day he told me that he’d once successfully convinced a PE teacher to excuse him from running laps by claiming to have been stung by a triffid. The best part was when the teacher said sympathetically, “Yeah, that can be painful.”

I really miss Pat.

*In fact, one of the first times I was made to literally fall down laughing was when I was trying to remember the name of that monster that sits outside of Egyptian Hell and eats peoples’ hearts (it’s Ammit, so you don’t have to look it up**), and I asked Pat if he knew. Without missing a beat, he said, “Phil.” I said, “Phil?” He said, “Yeah. I don’t remember his last name; you work with a guy for a couple thousand years, you get friendly.” I asked, “You used to work with Phil? What did you do?” He smiled and replied, “I used to oil the little scales.” As I was leaning against the wall, cackling, he continued, “I had to quit, though. There were union talks, and they said that I’d have to wear the head of an animal. And that wasn’t so bad, but all they had left was a budgie.” Which is when I fell down. But I digress.

**Which would take you 0.5 seconds. But I was asking before the Internet existed, so my only other option was to go to the library and look it up. And also get off of my lawn.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 5 Comments »

Among the Sleep

June 13th, 2012 by Cobwebs

I’m not entirely sure what the name means, but the concept is certainly intriguing.

Among the Sleep is a first-person horror game in which you play the role of a two-year-old child. After being tucked into bed one evening, nightmarish things begin to happen. Accompanied only by your faithful teddy bear, you have to fight your way through a surreal world to survive and return home.

Krillbrite Studio, the game’s indie developer, recently released a gameplay teaser video:

I really like the conceit of playing as a toddler. Not only would it make routine tasks interestingly complicated, the idea of being so small and vulnerable makes the threat extra-spooky. (Of course, as a commenter pointed out on BoingBoing, you can easily win the game by just hiding under the covers until morning.)

The game will be available for PC and Mac next year. You can follow its progress on the Krillbrite blog, where they have some neat time-lapse videos of concept art creation.

(via Super Punch)

Posted in Needful Things | No Comments »

Symphony of Science

June 12th, 2012 by Cobwebs

Auto-Tune is a piece of software that was originally designed to “disguise or correct off-key inaccuracies, allowing vocal tracks to be perfectly tuned despite originally being slightly off-key.” One of its first major uses was on Cher’s song “Believe,” but for every evil use there’s a good one. It can also be used to turn the spoken word into song, and John Boswell uses it to set the words of Carl Sagan, Richard Feynman, Bill Nye, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and many others to music. His first effort was A Glorious Dawn, and his latest is this marvelous remix of Mr. Rogers.

You can also check out the Symphony of Science website, where you can view the videos, download the MP3s, and read the lyrics. Similar projects are forthcoming, so keep an eye on the site for future updates.

Posted in Bittens | 1 Comment »

Death is Not an Option

June 11th, 2012 by Cobwebs

It’s time for another round of Death is Not an Option! The rules, again, are simple: Given the choice of a pair of people, you have to decide which one you’d sleep with; choosing death instead is not an option. This time we’re letting two movie juggernauts go head to head.

The Heroes with Humble Beginnings Matchup
Harry Potter   Frodo Baggins
Harry Potter vs. Frodo Baggins

The Gutsy Heroines Matchup
Hermione Granger   Arwen Undómiel
Hermione Granger vs. Arwen

The Loyal Sidekicks Matchup
Ron Weasley   Sam Gamgee
Ron Weasley vs. Sam Gamgee

The Ultimate Bad Guy Matchup
Voldemort   Sauron
Voldemort vs. Sauron

The Excessively Hairy Dude Matchup
Hagrid   Gimli
Hagrid vs. Gimli

The Blond (Male) Matchup
Lucius Malfoy   Legolas
Lucius Malfoy vs. Legolas

The Blond (Female) Matchup
Luna Lovegood   Eowyn
Luna Lovegood vs. Éowyn

The Creepy Little Bald Guys Matchup
Dobby   Gollum
Dobby vs. Gollum

The Badass Wizard Matchup
Dumbledore   Gandalf
Dumbledore vs. Gandalf

The Scruffy-Looking Hero Matchup
Sirius Black   Aragorn
Sirius Black vs. Aragorn

The Scary Black Hooded Thing Matchup
Dementor   Nazgul
Dementor vs. Nazgul

The Bad Guy Who Dies Doing the Right Thing Matchup
Severus Snape   Boromir
Severus Snape vs. Boromir

Leave your choices in the comments (feel free to expand on why you made each choice). And remember…Death is not an option.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 7 Comments »

The Link Dump of the Opera

June 8th, 2012 by Cobwebs

Death and Dementia – Massive link repository that covers everything from instructions for articulating skeletons to a pagan search engine. Plenty of NSFW, so click at your own risk. (Hat tip to Cookie)

Goth Opera Singer Wows Judges – Heartwarming video of a goth kid’s Susan Boyle moment.

Cards Against Humanity – Interesting-looking party game; from the reviews it sounds sort of like a really twisted version of Apples to Apples. The first set is also available as a free PDF on their site. Expansion packs are available as well.

Steampunk Ray Gun – Great-looking mod of a toy plastic gun.

C for Cookie – “Movie trailer” depicting a futuristic world where the consumption of cookies is controlled by the government.

Cthulhu Poppet – Lovecraft meets primitive folk art. I like that the listing describes it as a “Sweet, little ultimate embodiment of evil.” (Hat tip to Pensive Pumpkin)

Chocolate Brain from MRI Scan – Instructables member Inition used a friend’s MRI to create a 3-D chocolate model of his brain. He’s posted details if you have an MRI lying around that you aren’t sure what to do with.

Harry Clarke Illustrations for Poe – Great high-res illustrations.

Scandals of Classic Hollywood – Analysis of vintage Hollywood scandals, from a woman who has a doctorate(?) in the subject.

Zombie Bust Cake – This is a darn impressive use of a standard heart-shaped cake pan.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

The Chronulator

June 7th, 2012 by Cobwebs

ChronulatorShareBrained Technology offers this wonderful and ridiculous open-source clock…thingie. You can buy it fully assembled, as a kit, or as a raw circuit board. If you’re really brave and/or have too much time on your hands, they even sell the circuit board layout so you can print your own.

The Chronulator starts life as a clock, showing the hours and minutes on two old-school analog panel meters. Dress it up to look like old test equipment, audio VU meters, or motorcycle gauges. Mount it in a picture frame, shadow box, computer case, plush toy, pumpkin… Customize the code and hardware to make the meters indicate something other than time — network traffic/lag, outside temperature, freeway congestion, terror threat level, stress level, whatever! Let your imagination run free.

The image shown here is a sort of steampunky design, but users are encouraged to share their own models on the site’s forum.

They’ve also just launched a new design, the Monulator, which can be wired up to report anything you want: “chance of precipitation, time until your next meeting, Twitter mentions, CPU load, stock market change, or a million other things.” So you could stick one in a ouija board and use it to count down the days to Halloween.

Man, I can’t wait until Shadowboy is old enough to learn to solder. These would be a hoot to build with him.

Posted in Needful Things | 1 Comment »

Seen Online

June 6th, 2012 by Cobwebs

If you told me 100% of serial killers were “morning people” I’d believe you.

For the first time since my father died, I’m okay with the fact I’m never getting my nose back.

Pick your hotels according to one criteria: If I get murdered here, would this be a fun place to haunt?

If I was in charge of children’s parties I’d fill the piñata with intestines and give the little darlings good reason to scream.

Eeyore was emo before emo was emo. He’s like the hipster of depression.

“Oh wow, way better!” -Jedi Knight trying out a gun

There are fates far worse than death. For example, having your death reported in an online article with comments enabled.

Angelina Jolie looks like she eats a lot of spider webs

Evite tip, drum up some “buzz” by adding “OF DRACULA” to the name of your event. “You are invited to the Pampered Chef party…OF DRACULA!!”

Next time I do LSD I’m definitely going to stay away from anyone that looks delicious.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

Trivia Tuesday

June 5th, 2012 by Cobwebs

(No prizes, but if you can answer them all without googling you get bragging rights.)

  1. What was the name of Wednesday Addams’s pet spider?
    A) Homer
    B) Vladimir
    C) Marie
    D) Cuddles
    E) Henry
  2. This British werewolf movie stars Kevin McKidd, Sean Pertwee and Liam Cunningham as British Army soldiers fighting werewolves in the Scottish highlands.
  3. In Greek mythology, there are five rivers in the Underworld. Which of these is not one of them?
    A) Lethe
    B) Akheron
    C) Kokytos
    D) Styx
    E) Limos
  4. On the tribute album “We Will Follow,” what U2 song does Rosetta Stone cover?
  5. This magician starred in the movie The Man from Beyond, in which he played a man thawed from an icy encasement to discover his reincarnated love of a hundred years past.
    A) David Blaine
    B) Criss Angel
    C) Doug Henning
    D) David Copperfield
    E) Harry Houdini
  6. In what horror movie does one of the characters write a book which contains only the line “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” repeated over and over again?
  7. Today, Bram Stoker is best known as the author of Dracula. However, during his lifetime he was much better known as what?
    A) Newspaper reporter
    B) Theatre manager
    C) Law clerk
    D) Civil engineer
    E) School teacher
  8. The influential Confessions of an English Opium-Eater was written by whom?
  9. The first Lollapalooza tour featured only one goth band. Who was it?
    A) Joy Division
    B) Fields of the Nephilim
    C) Siouxsie and The Banshees
    D) The Sisters of Mercy
    E) Southern Death Cult
  10. Who played the monster in the 1974 film Young Frankenstein?

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Trivia | 3 Comments »

Creepy Kids

June 4th, 2012 by Cobwebs

Peter Schneider has created a supercut of 39 of the all-time creepiest children in horror. A full list of the movies is available on his site.

For best effect, watch right before bedtime.

(Hat tip to Empress Pam)

Posted in Whatever | No Comments »

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