The Art of Darkness

The Link Dump of Sam McGee

April 19th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Cats & Catacombs – The team behind the wildly-successful Dungeons & Doggies D&D miniatures are offering a feline version.

6 Bricks Under – A Vienna funeral home has started offering custom mortuary-themed Lego sets and they are amazing. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Godmeat – An interestingly twisted dark fantasy short story.

Slytherin Aesthetic – Hogwarts House moodboards are wildly popular on Tumblr and Pinterest. I like this one mainly for the quote.

Victorian Styles of Humor – An interesting look at what Victorians thought was amusing.

Tattoo – Nicely creepy comic.

Scariest Urban Legends from Each State – I see that Virginia is still represented by Bunny Man Bridge. Sigh.

Noir Princesses – These illustrations of hardboiled Disney princesses are pitch-perfect.

Zombie Fly Fishing – A highly entertaining Twitter thread.

The Scare Floor – Optimizing the Scare Floor from Monsters, Inc.

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Seen Online

April 16th, 2019 by Cobwebs

The five people you meet in heaven will be, listen carefully…our sleeper agents. They have been waiting for this moment and will lead you to the weapon caches. We are only going to get one chance at this so let’s make sure they didn’t sacrifice all that sinning for nothing.

Watching Buffy at 12: Is Angel going to get his soul back???
Watching Buffy at 31: What kind of insurance does The Bronze have

everybody my age is getting married… send me an invitation and I will gladly liven up your boring wedding by standing outside and yelling “the Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your souls!”

Why are all movies about assassins about “elite assassins” and not ones who are just doing ok and sorta dreading their next assassin performance review?

in D&D a Wizard is a person who achieves ruinous power, creates abominations against gods and nature, ruins cities, lives and entire worlds, all through the power of reading
support your local library

Since it’s the Halloween season, I’ll give you a treat. Put your hand to your chest. Feel your heartbeat? That’s your ghost chipping away at its cell.

AND, so far, every ghost has eventually made it out.


TWO-FACE: aw man your face is fucked too. how do you cope with it?
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: mostly writing operas
TWO-FACE: cool cool. I kill people
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: oh yeah no so do I

ELEANOR RIGBY: why am I so lonely
ME: *pats her shoulder* maybe it’s cuz you keep your face in a jar

Not a fan when people give big news and they ask if you’re sitting down. Don’t try and mitigate my relationship with the floor, if I want to dramatically collapse, I’ll collapse, don’t force me into a squandered lean.

wife: honey did you see the new player piano I bought
me: *stops googling can ghosts play the piano* yes I did

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The Link Dump Archipelago

April 12th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Turkey Joints – These candies look like bones with chocolate “marrow.” They’d be a fun addition to a Halloween party snack table.

Laws Broken in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – A team of legal experts discuss noted scofflaw Willy Wonka.

Game of Thrones Dinner Party – Fantastically themed dinner party idea.

How would you be described if you were a character in an epic fantasy novel? – The replies to this are wonderful.

Werewolf Transformation – What if they don’t always turn into big canines?

Black Plague Dollhouse – Complete with plague doctors and bubo-covered patients.

Ghosts on a Tree – I like this painting of a flock of ghosts by Franz Sedlacek. He did some other nicely creepy stuff too.

Shitpost Sampler – This site makes cross-stitch patterns out of random Tumblr posts and it is glorious. I’m gonna make this one.

World Heavy Metal Knitting Championship to launch in Finland – Sounds like Finland has its priorities straight.

Superheroes – A Twitter thread of greatness.

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Full Fathom Five Thy Link Dump Lies

April 5th, 2019 by Cobwebs

A Winter’s Project – This handmade set of Gorey-inspired nesting dolls is adorable. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Songs to Drown Sailors To – A playlist.

Underwear Dates Well – “Fashion forensics” are helping to solve crimes.

The Thing About Ghost Stories – Sweet short story about a gentle haunting.

1 like = 1 little shop that wasn’t here yesterday, and what you bought there – A delightfully unsettling thread.

Chained: A Victorian Nightmare – If you’re going to be in New York, this “immersive” storytelling experience sounds intriguing.

Christian Dior, Fall 2005 – A wonderfully ghostly fashion collection.

Monsters Giving Press Conferences – These Japanese toys depicting kaiju giving press conferences to apologize for destroying cities are wonderful.

Always Take Care When Walking Alone – I love the idea behind this ‘toon.

Easter Bunny – “A parody of Living Dead Girl.” (Sent to me by Pixel Pixie, with the note “This is terrible. You should watch it.” Which is why PP and I are friends.)

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I Am Curious (Link Dump)

March 29th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Photographs – Trailer for a video game that sounds intriguing.

The God of Roadside Memorials – I love this illustration.

Fugglers – Ugly little plush toys. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Different – An excellent rejoinder to the fantasy “warrior woman” trope.

True Facts: The Bolas Spider – “What Nancy does with her butt rope is nobody’s business.”

Cemetery Gates Dress – This dress printed with a photo of a graveyard is quite striking.

Livics Taxidermy – Etsy shop selling (ethically sourced) taxidermy animals in unsettling tableaux. Lots of S&M rats.

Aliens – This isn’t really goth, but Nathan Pyle’s little alien ‘toons are delightful. (Here’s a semi-goth one.)

Souris Calle – Conceptual artist Sophie Calle commissioned a tribute album to mourn her beloved pet cat.

Creepy Book Cover DIY – Video tutorial for creating an “alien monster” sketchbook cover using polymer clay. (Hat tip to DeVries)

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Black Tape for a Blue Link Dump

March 22nd, 2019 by Cobwebs

Rabbits vs. Hares – The response reads almost like poetry.

Tolkien Trailer – Trailer for an upcoming biopic about the author’s formative years.

Gracula Garlic Twist Crusher – I try to avoid what Alton Brown calls “unitaskers,” but I might make an exception for this garlicky li’l vampire. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Sorrow-scopes – Novelty Twitter account which provides horoscopes like, “Leo: Buy some sage and smudge your bathroom. Some ghosts are absolutely watching you shower.”

Slingshot Spiders – This species of spider catches insects by twanging itself at them. (Hat tip to pdq)

Sada Abe – Interesting Twitter thread about a woman who was a, “geisha, sex worker, waitress, murderer, corpse mutilator, and necrophiliac.”

Pretty in Polymer – Polymer earrings for stretched lobes, including some gorgeous tentacles.

TL;DR Wikipedia – An entertaining Instagram account of “Wikipedia definitions.”

Craft As Thou Wilt – Wonderful tank top from Knitting is Metal.

Deep Dark Fears – This makes a good point.

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Last of the Red Hot Link Dumps

March 15th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Taika Waititi to Write and Direct Time Bandits Series – This could be spectacular.

The Exploding Pope – This thread about the death of Pius XII is delightfully batshit.

A Specter Most Ominous – Wondermark tackles ghosts.

Disney DIY: Haunted Mansion Table Settings – A guide to re-creating the tableware in the Haunted Mansion ballroom scene. (via Shellhawk’s Nest)

Fairytale Curses – This thread makes a good point.

Absinthe Minded – A gift guide for absinthe lovers.

New Year, New Life, New House – “Gothic Martha Stewart” Trystan Bass shares photos of her amazing home makeover.

‘The Storyteller’ Reimagining In Works by Neil Gaiman, Jim Henson Co. & Fremantle – As B. Bolander so eloquently put it, “Holy shitsnacks.” I’ve written about the original Storyteller series; adding Gaiman to the mix should be amazing.

Coned Mythology – Kickstarter for enamel pins of mythical animals wearing cones of shame. The jackalope is especially delightful.

Hanna-Barbera’s ‘The Banana Splits’ to return as a horror movie – Hollywood has scraped through the bottom of the barrel and is currently digging to China.

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A Link Dump’s Purpose

March 8th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Blowjobs in Fairyland – A long and scholarly Tumblr discussion over what counts as food.

More D&D Monster Facts – I’m gonna add these to my next campaign.

Paranormal/Folklore Discord – Discord channel for paranormal/folklore enthusiasts.

Elmo vs. The Count – A highly entertaining Twitter thread.

Recreations of Famous Paintings of Myths Using Only My Children’s Toys – “By a Woman With Small Children and a PhD in Classics”

Currency Converter: 1270–2017 – This site will convert “old money” into current value, but will also tell you how many horses, cattle, stones of wool, wheat, and skilled tradesman days you would get for the amount.

Bread Magic – An interesting feature of Hungarian folktales.

Liches are Nerds – I agree with Sam Sykes; we should write them that way.

Silent Night – Interesting “weird biology” post about barn owls.

Bones Are Like Love – I’d really like this image to be available on greeting cards.

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Link Dumps Become Her

March 1st, 2019 by Cobwebs

CBS Orders a Frankenstein Drama Pilot – This sounds great, until the you reach the second sentence, which is, “Yes, he solves crimes,” and then you go, “Um.”

Bat in the Bookstore – A lovely thread by The MERL (of “absolute unit” fame). (Hat tip to approximately half the people I know online, all of whom sent this to me, because I know a lot of awesome people.)

What We Do in the Shadows Trailer – Official trailer for Season 1 of the series inspired by the mockumentary of the same name.

Cryptid Zodiac – I vote that we adopt these as official zodiacal signs immediately.

“Wrap-Around” Spiders – These adorable ‘piders camouflage themselves by wrapping tightly around tree branches. I want to wear one like a fur stole. (Hat tip to pdq)

Make Ink: A Forager’s Guide to Natural Inkmaking – Make your own ink from a variety of natural materials.

Mythical Backsides – Why have “Juicy” written across your butt when you can have “Ghoul” or “Harpy” instead?

How David Weber Orders a Pizza – This made me giggle.

Is The Nightmare Before Christmas Getting a Sequel? – I believe John Scalzi speaks for all of us when he said, “I swear to god if Disney does a flabby unnecessary “live action” bullshit version of this film I will BURN THE HAUNTED MANSION TO THE GROUND”

The Church of the Good Boy – This was written for a dog paladin in a D&D campaign. It’s good theology, Brent.

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Salt, Fat, Acid, Link Dump

February 1st, 2019 by Cobwebs

Legendary and Hammer Bringing Classic British Sci-Fi Hero QUATERMASS to the Big ScreenQuatermass and the Pit (Five Million Years to Earth in the US) is one of the best SF movies of all time; fight me. This reboot could be a lot of fun.

Cup of Frost, Palm of Gold – Fantasy Twine game described by its author as containing, “iced bones and merling kisses and fey feasting and clay coffins and acorns cracked by teeth.”

Monster Librarian – Resource site for scary books.

Fuyuko Matsui – Artist who specializes in the supernatural, beautiful and grotesque.

Omnia Oddities – “Jewelry for the unearthly.” I especially like the Arachne ring.

#McMansionGothic – An entertaining Twitter thread.

The Privilege of the Happy Ending – This short story was described by @BBolander thusly: “It is, essentially, a fairy tale AU where Ellen Ripley is a banty hen & Newt is … well, mostly still Newt, and they have to navigate a xenomorph-infested fairy tale landscape together.”

24 Children’s Stories That Still Give Us the Creeps – A roundup of fairy tales and folklore that will give kids nightmares.

Undead Girl – I will be singing it with these lyrics from now on.

Death Wish Coffee – Highly-caffeinated “extreme” coffee.

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