The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

August 22nd, 2017 by Cobwebs

Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there’s an increased chance that they will see you later.

I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn’t look like we’re six days into battling a poltergeist.

I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.

if i die on a hill it’s gonna be the bottom of that hill. i’m not climbing up a hill to die

God: you may ask me 1 question
Me: Why aren’t there lowercase and uppercase numbers?
God: what?
Me: I wanna write loud numbers

As your goth financial advisor I urge you to bury all of your possessions & then on your death bed whisper their location to a stranger.

I know that “rainbow bridge” thing people say when a pet dies originated in a poem, but I can’t help but think, “Mittens went to Asgard.”

“Dad where do babies come from?”
“Son, when birds & bees mate, they make us afterward. We’re birdbees, son. Abominations. And we’re hunted.”

why did everyone play the recorder in fourth grade what were they training us for

I feel like I missed an amazing opportunity to make my wedding registry be only haunted dolls.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Beverly Hills Link Dump

August 18th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Wooden Feathers – Lovely, mildly creepy, short story by Ursula Vernon.

Make Your Own Tentacle For Under $20 – Honestly who among ust hasn’t wanted their own tentacle? (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Coffin Club – Short documentary about a group of senior citizens in New Zealand who get together once a week to construct and personalize their own coffins. It is upbeat and adorable. (via Anna))

Michael Sheen, David Tennant to Star in Neil Gaiman’s ‘Good Omens’ – 1) It’s actually Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omens. 2) I can hear all the geek heads exploding from here.

The Scariest 25 Minutes on U.S. Television – Mental Floss reminisces about “Amelia,” the psyche-scarring third segment in the Trilogy of Terror.

In the future, your body won’t be buried… you’ll dissolve – Interesting article on the process of resomation, an alternative to cremation.

The Warded Man – First book in an entertaining fantasy series which one review noted would appeal to those who “long for old-school orc massacres.”

Event Horizon: Inspiring Hellish Nightmares for 20 Years – A fond look at the cult classic.

The Sea Witch Sets the Record Straight – Ursula may have had a point.

The Eyes Have It – Easy tutorial for adding eyeball patches to the elbows of clothing. Also just try and say “elbow eyeballs” five times fast.

Posted in Link Dump | 4 Comments »

The Link Dump of the Vanities

August 11th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Join the Search for Geedis – This tickles me in my “obscure, pointless mystery” place.

This Much I Know: Neil Gaiman – A short, very Gaimanesque, interview with the author.

Has the True Identity of Jack the Ripper Been Revealed? – Betteridge’s Law of Headlines states that “Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word ‘no’,” and since this article was written to tout an upcoming book it should be taken with a very large grain of salt.

Game of Thrones Beer – Brewery Ommegang has a series of Game of Thrones-themed beers with names like “Fire and Blood” and “Three-Eyed Raven.”

AirBNB Reviews for Castle Dracula – Amusing ‘toon. (via Pixel Pixie)

Funeral Etiquette Every Southerner Should Know – Video of two “etiquette masters” discussing the finer points of American Southern funerals.

False Facts Everyone Believes About the Druids – Interesting article about historical Druids vs. Dungeons & Dragons Druids.

Hookland – Twitter feed with a sort of “Welcome to Scarfolk” vibe. Lots of odd vintage-y photos and strange commentary.

Divining the Future – Merriam-Webster “words at play” article featuring different kinds of divination. (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Belzebubs – Entertaining webcomic about a black metal-loving family and their everyday life. There’s a very strong Addams Family-esque “we consider weird things normal” vibe.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

The Link Dump of Heaven

August 4th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Scary Stories Paperback Box Set – The most terrifying part of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and its sequels wasn’t the stories, it was the creepy-ass artwork by Stephen Gammell. A new boxed set featuring the original art has just been released.

Goth Court – A life-action party game about “eldritch justice in a small claims court that settles petty disputes between goths and norms.” (Hat tip to Bruno)

Imaginary Voyages of Edgar Allan Poe – Kickstarter for an interesting-sounding graphic novel.

Why Harry Potter should have carried an M1911 – This Reddit comment is peak Redneck American, but “Dirty Harry” Potter would be a fun action movie.

Packing – Odd, evocative, melancholy little short story.

Monks Knitting Pattern – Tewkesbury Abbey has a free knitting pattern for mini-monks. You can see some examples in their Twitter feed.

So this conversation happened between a couple of writers I like on Twitter – This is what the internet was made for. (via Shellhawk)

Anatomy of Animals – Kickstarter for a collection of “animal anatomy” ‘toons from the webcomic Sheldon. I cannot agree with their depiction of tardigrades.

Meeping Angel – You know that Weeping Angel/Beaker mashup? Somebody did a cosplay version.

Riker Creatures – Adorable furry sculptures of wildlife. The latest set–sadly sold out–were baby fruit bats: Scruffs, Pekoe, and Loki. Hopefully the artist will make more soon. (Hat tip to WitchArachne)

Posted in Whatever | 5 Comments »