The Art of Darkness

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March 15th, 2022 by Cobwebs

Oh honey, that’s just how old houses are. They settle. They sometimes creak or groan, or quietly weep, or demand blood sacrifice in voices that sounds like the fluttering wings of a thousand moths. It’s just the house settling. For whatever it can get. Go back to sleep.

Inside you there are two wolves. They are both very tired and are doing their best.

I maintain that the moral of A Christmas Carol is actually “never go with a ghost to a second location”

I’m not the main character I’m one of the housekeepers hearing strange noises coming from the third floor of this Gothic manor and simply saying “that’s not my business”

Make a movie about the TA who had to teach 90% of Indiana Jones’ classes.

I like to play chess with old men in the park. (The tough part: finding 32 of them.)

During plane turbulence it’s fun to touch your temples and pretend you’re experiencing a premonition.

You want me to apply for a fellowship? After what happened to Boromir?

Ladies, remember that if someone asks you “why do you not have kids yet” over the holidays, the appropriate answer is, “Alas, because I promised my firstborn to the forest imp who spun my straw into gold!”

i am super skinny in that i am like covered completely in skin

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. Pixel Pixie Says:

    Emo Philips is a treasure.

  2. Mim Says:

    My two wolves want to run away and hide away from the real world…

  3. xJane Says:

    aww, come on, house, you deserve better, you don’t have to settle!!

    Also I love the ideas for turbulence and why no kids. “Do you want Rumpelstiltskin to have joint custody, huh? DO YA?”

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