The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

March 30th, 2018 by Cobwebs

If I were a wizard, I’d have some amazing curses to put on people
like cursing them to say “you too” every time a server says to enjoy your meal
or to remember something embarrassing they did in high school right before they fall asleep
SamSykesSwears

“are you a wine mom or a vodka aunt”
I’m an absinthe dowager
spookperson

We got used to re-animated skeletons. They’re just another minority among many. Here’s one now, looking at lipsticks. My department. “Can I help you-”
It tenses, waiting to see how I address it. Well, I’m no osteopath. Best not assume.
“Honoured One?”
It grins.
MicroSFF

DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin!
DORIAN: Can I hide it?
DEVIL: Well, yes, but—
DORIAN: And there are no other consequences?
DEVIL: This… This picture will become so foul!
DORIAN: Again, probably I’ll hide the picture.
aedison

My cask of amontillado brings all the boys to the catacombs
And they’re like, you’re entombing us alive
Damn right, I’m entombing you alive
I could free you
But I’m entombing you alive
living_marble

Things My Dog Does Not Understand About Cats
-why do they vibrate it’s weird
-they are very sharp
-they don’t like dog nose in their butts
-Very Sharp
-is that a good noise or a bad noise? o it’s a bad noise
-VERY SHARP
-change minds easily. it’s ok THEN NOT OK
-S H A R P
ellle_em

Ok, so playing this game is making me think that I really want a game where you play as the Gruff Mentor Figure. Because I identify with them way more than I do the teenage Chosen One.

“Your Chosen One needs to kill monsters. Go catch a monster and wound it and bring it home like a cat with a mouse so your teenager learns to fight monsters.”

“Your Chosen One has been kidnapped. Yes, again. Go break them out.”

“Your Chosen One has questions about her past. Choose from various grim/cryptic dialogue options.”

UrsulaV

Do you guys still have your baby eyeballs from when they fell out?
I traded mine (like a total chump) for a quarter each from the Eyeballs Fairy…
batkaren

You have to have a soul in order to have a soulmate.
I don’t make the rules.
AsgardianRose

ladies, i hope you’re all getting your summer body ready!
Now is the perfect time to shed your unwanted flesh and slither into your new human host, allowing 1 to 2 months for their fragile skin to better fit with ease over your hidden monster form.
_ElizabethMay

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

The Yellow Link Dump of Texas

March 17th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Fright-Rags – Horror movie T-shirts and novelties.

Obituary – Although work on this cartoon seems to have faltered–the last blog post is from 2016–this Graveyard Book-esque pilot is cute.

Cultural Werewolf Divide – Amusing discussion about Old World vs. New World werewolves.

Werewolves and their “Time of the Month” – And speaking of werewolves, I want to read a book based on this idea.

Dracula: A Chamber Musical – Link to a download site where you can view this “fairly unknown (but successful) Canadian musical from the 90s.” (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mermaid Babies – I have accepted this progression from “fish” to “mermaid” as headcanon.

Myrntai – Artist who draws lovely, creepy ink ravens and other creatures.

1 like = 1 cryptid I just made up – A Twitter thread of greatness. I especially like Old Mags.

The Sound of His Voice Like the Colour of Salt – Lovely, creepy short story about a houseful of ghosts.

The Moth Radio Hour – This episode of the podcast includes segments on Neil Gaiman and London’s Highgate Cemetery. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Seen Online

March 13th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Me: sleep before the monsters get you
7: monsters aren’t real
M: you sound like your brother
7: brother?
M: I’ve said too much already
DaddyJew

Some days you’re Prometheus chained to a rock doomed to have his liver torn out and eaten every day by an eagle, and some days you’re the bird who gets a convenient cliff snack
kendrawcandraw

coffins : the ultimate and final ravioli
egg_dog

I’d be fine with a ghost in the house if every time a message in blood appeared on the wall it was something helpful like YOUR KEYS ARE IN THE FRONT DOOR.
LizHackett

The name ‘earthworm’ essentially suggests that there are worms from other planets that scientists haven’t told us about
LeBearGirdle

me: look at this mass of crows! thousands of them! an ill omen
ornithologist: actually those are ravens. you can tell by the size of their bodies and the sounds they make
me: oh, so, not an ill omen?
ornithologist: oh no you’re super cursed either way
spacetwinks

Be the reason why the lights flicker when you enter a room
DothTheDoth

imagining observational comedy in an urban fantasy world
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH VAMPIRES, AM I RIGHT, YOU’RE NOT SO SPECIAL, WE *ALL* CAN BE KILLED WITH A WOODEN STAKE. I KID I KID, ANYWAY, ANY STITCHED-TOGETHER CORPSE MONSTERS IN THE AUDIENCE? GIVE YOURSELVES A HAND, ANOTHER ONE
vandroidhelsing (Note: This is the first in a thread. The rest are here.)

If you want to be remembered forever, have a destination funeral. Bahamas, swimming with the dolphins. Force your loved ones to watch from the beach as Flipper & friends knock your corpse around like a beach ball.
_ElvishPresley_

There was a pigeon staring at a puddle outside my home for about three hours. And I don’t know if he had nothing better to do or if I just witnessed an omen for a very low-level prophecy.
SamSykesSwears

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

I am Joe’s Link Dump

March 9th, 2018 by Cobwebs

A Guide to the Hidden Language of Gifting Spooky Animals – “Magpies: I would commit civilized murders in your name.”

Sign in a Toy Store – There’s a horror story in here somewhere.

mysouldesign – Etsy shop specializing in lovely jewelry and accessories made of vintage fabric and beads, including spiders and human hearts. (Hat tip to Cat)

Tómarúm – Swedish photographer Christine Linde creates creepily atmospheric photos inspired by Scandinavian folklore.

Sirens – Emily Wilson, who recently did a modern translation of The Odyssey, has an interesting thread about her translation decisions regarding Odysseus’ encounter with the Sirens.

But then what does he eat? And how does he process it? – MetaFilter looks at centaur anatomy. (Hat tip to Bruno)

The City of Brass – Entertaining retelling of one of the stories from 1,001 Nights. There’s another story here.

Loch Ness Monster Stuffed Animal – Pattern and good tutorial for making a big felt Nessie to cuddle.

The Parasitological Museum of Meguro – There’s a museum in Japan devoted to parasites. I don’t recommend viewing these images if you’re snacking.

Passover Cocktails for Each of the Ten Plagues – I love that somebody took the effort to match drinks to plagues.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

All the World’s a Link Dump

March 2nd, 2018 by Cobwebs

The Secret Lives of the Nine Negro Teeth of George Washington – Lovely short work of speculative fiction.

One Bird’s Treasure – I like to think that crows use this kind of vocabulary.

The Sandman Universe – Neil Gaiman is launching a new Sandman imprint.

A Song About an Anglerfish – There should be more songs about anglerfish, tbh.

Addams Family Lego Mansion – You can vote to help make this prototype a reality.

The Call Girl of Cthulhu – This seems to be a comedy rather than porn, which seems like an almost criminal waste of a title.

Insanely Creepy Dolls – (Facebook link; sorry.) Small photo album of dolls that you’d rather not wake up to find standing next to your bed.

Concept – “That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (‘that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders’ etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.” Heh.

Messed Up Things That May Have Happened in New Orleans History – A modest roundup.

#GlamourToads – A hashtag of very photogenic toads.

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