Two Gorgeous Cakes – This post is mainly about a lovely steampunk-themed wedding cake, but the last photo is a “gothic” cake that is simply phenomenal.

Play With Me – Click on the glowing objects to make the doll do increasingly creepy things.

Top 15 Dead and Undead Comic Heroes and Villains – A list from Topless Robot. Good fodder for a costume party.

A Softer World – The text for this webcomic would be a wonderfully gothy marriage proposal.

Zombie Bite Calculator – Answer a few questions and see how long it would take you to succumb to a zombie bite. I’d last slightly over an hour.

Tom Riddler’s (sic) Magical Diary – Pandora chatbot that mimics the diary in Harry Potter.

Boozecats – It’s a bad idea to post online photos of yourself with alcohol, lest employers or parents find them. The solution? Replace the drink with a cat. Brilliant!

Lovecraft Online – Extensive collection of H.P. Lovecraft’s works in electronic format.

Boogie Man Rug – Hello, enormous therapy bills.

Cranioklepty – A treatise on skull collecting, particularly the skulls of famous people. See also this article on the sale of Beethoven’s skull. (Hat tip to chas)

There are things in the wilds of the Intarwebs that make you quizzically cock your head to one side like a dog hearing a high-pitched whistle, and this is one of them.

The Zombible (“Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Zombies”) dares to ask the question, “How might the Gospels have been different if Jesus had come to Earth not to save mankind from sin, but from zombies?” And then it rewrites the contents of the four gospels by way of an answer.

It’s subtle; the prose uses the King James style of writing, and if you just skim it you might not notice anything amiss. But if you read a bit more closely, you notice things like this part of the Parable of the Prodigal Son:

7 And when he came to himself, he thought, How many hired servants has my father spare, and I moan with hunger! 8 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Brains, 9 and call upon his hired servants.

10 And he arose, and shambled to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell, and ran, and kissed him.

11 And the son said unto him, Brains.

The authors state that this is their first work, so they may intend to rewrite the entire New Testament to reflect Jesus’ new mission. It’d be amusing to quote a verse here and there, insisting that they’re legitimate.

(via Pharyngula)

Wondermark’s greeting cards have long amused me (I like this one in particular), and they’ve just released a series of offbeat Valentine cards that are perfect for the likes of us. The Victorian-esque imagery and peculiar messages are just the thing to make your intended’s heart go pit-a-pat.

I think the sentiment expressed in the card below is appropriate at any time of year.

Shadow Jack recently read an article entitled something like, “Ten Foods That Will Totally Kill You Dead if You Don’t Use the Organic Version,” and was seized with a sudden urge to swing by Trader Joe’s and stock up on organic potatoes. I was nosing around their dried-fruit aisle and was sufficiently intrigued by their candied hibiscus flowers to pick up a package.

I’m abundantly familiar with dried hibiscus flowers, which make a lovely tart cooler and a brilliant red tea (and can also be used to infuse tequila, yum), but I’d never run into the candied version. They’re…interesting. The texture is rather like thick fruit leather, chewy and a little bit tough. The flavor is mildly sweet-tart and reminds me of dried cranberries.

However, they look really weird and alien pod-like and I can totally see Cthulhu garnishing his martini with one. I doubt you’ll want to eat them out of hand, but they’d be a fantastic decoration for cakes or beverages.

I did some looking online and Trader Joe’s appears to be the only source for the candied flowers, so readers without a local TJs may have to improvise. Flowers packed in syrup seem to be more widely available Amazon has a couple of different sources), which are probably fine to drop in a drink but might be a little limp to use as a garnish. It may be possible to drain them (save the syrup to drizzle over cakes or mix with seltzer), roll them gently in sugar, then dry them on racks to firm them up. If you’ve got a local source for fresh hibiscus, you might also try candying them yourself.

Most recipes for candied flowers involve sugaring the individual petals, but the whole hibiscus is so big and meaty that I think you’d candy them more like fruit. The eHow site has instructions for making glaced fruit, and this recipe for candied pineapple might also work (now that I think of it, you might be able to candy whole rosebuds this way too).

As is usual when preserving flowers–or anything else you’ve picked, for that matter–make sure that you’ve correctly identified the plant and aren’t about to chow down on something toxic. Also ensure that the flowers haven’t been sprayed with chemicals such as pesticides, and don’t collect them from sources near roads (automobile exhaust contains a lot of stuff you probably don’t want to eat).

Once preserved and dried, they should keep quite a while if sealed airtight and then frozen.

They really do make a striking presentation, so I hope you’ll seek out a source or try to candy them yourself. The next time you invite the Elder Gods over for dinner, they’ll be really impressed.

(Image from Cooking with Trader Joe’s)

Raven LizzBet recently brought my attention to her Goth/Horror publication The Club. It sounds like the sort of thing that might be right up our alley, in that it:

focuses on Goth, vampires, hauntings & ghosts, creatures, Samhain/Hallowe’en, Horror films / books / tv shows / games / cds, gothy home / garden / decor, etc… There are articles, reviews, art, news, writings, photos and much more.

The magazine is celebrating its 14th year in business and has just released its 100th issue. The site unfortunately doesn’t have any photos of the publication or sample articles so I can’t speak to its content, but it certainly sounds intriguing.

Wicked Plants – A compendium of plants that kill, maim, intoxicate, or otherwise refuse to play nicely.

A Closer Look at the Hoof Shoe Trend – The cloven-hoof boots are awesome.

Nic Cage as Everyone – This is…exactly what it says it is. Weird. Eerie.

Find a Grave – Online resource for finding the gravesites of family, friends, or celebrities.

Dinosaur Bedroom – I want to love this, but all I can think is, “It’s handy that they posted the photos online, so when the kid is in therapy he can just point to them.”

Set Editions – Sells (among other things) business-size cards with the simple phrase, “Stop Talking.” I like the idea of being able to passive-aggressively shush somebody.

Predator Motorcycle – This motorcycle mod is all kinds of awesome.

Grimmer Tales – Collection of comic strips illustrating the horrible aftermath of classic fairy tales, such as the cow jumping over the moon, leaving the atmosphere, and suffocating.

Poe in the News:
New Poe Portrait Unveiled – Apparently he was hunkier than is commonly believed.
Mystery Visitor Misses Poe’s Birthday – The Poe Toaster didn’t show this year. Hm.

The estimable Wondermark site has a series of posts up on the process used to make their hand-printed 2010 calendar, including some tips on screen printing: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

What I really want to highlight, though, is this statement from David Malki:

Whether you buy a calendar or not, whether this has inspired you to make anything creative of your own or not, whether you’re even the least bit interested in this process or not, I hope you take one key thing away from this entire, long-winded story. I’ll put it on its own line and bold it so you’re sure not to miss it:

You can make something from nothing.

Let me repeat that. You can make something from nothing. The Wondermark Calendar is not a model kit that we assembled from directions. It’s not a box of LEGO® brand interlocking building blocks that we dumped onto the floor and then very precisely made into a spaceship. The LEGO® brand interlocking building blocks that we used were paper and ink. Any meaning that they have been given is meaning that we have fabricated.

I think that’s an excellent sentiment which all crafters should take to heart. Don’t be afraid to branch out from premade kits and make something that’s entirely your own. It might take some work, but it will be wonderful.

Wile E. Coyote, Sylvester the Cat, and Charlie Brown meet. Brown asks the others if they have seen “Strangers on a Train”. Hijinks ensue.
— sween

Looking and quacking like a duck does not preclude it from being a cyborg assassin from the future inexplicably designed to simulate a duck.
Zaius13

ak-47 notwithstanding, i’m no fan of russia. i don’t trust a country whose women nest inside of each other
— StephenAtHome

Fundamentalists…are possessed & driven by the lies of demons…Actual demons like ignorance, apathy, greed, racism, fear & Barney.
— Maynard Keenan (Lead singer of the group “Tool”)

Reality’s weirdly uninterested in what you believe.
— hotdogsladies

what is an emo? (via @gabsygabs) a gothstrich
— serafinowicz

If he was alive, I bet Hemingway would write some pretty terse teen vampires.
— sween

When you’re a cyclops, hindsight is 20.
— tehawesome

Hide your crazy next to your passion. They can’t tell the difference.
— rands

When I die, I want to be buried wearing roller skates so I’ll automatically have an edge during the zombie uprising.
— gothscifigirl

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one’s eating fish ever again.
— sween

Cheeky Magpie has posted a free pattern for these completely awesome anatomically accurate heart cards, along with some decorating suggestions. I especially like the “key to my heart” idea.

There’s plenty of time before Valentine’s Day to whip up a few and spread the love.

(via Haute Macabre)