The Art of Darkness

Anything Can Happen on Halloween

October 31st, 2017 by Cobwebs

In honor of the very best holiday, please to enjoy this mesmerizingly awful clip from The Worst Witch, starring Tim Curry as The Grand Wizard.

It is spectacular.

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This Year’s Costumes

October 29th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Link and SkullkidIt’s time for the annual costume recap! Every year I spend entirely too much time making costumes for Shadowboy and a friend’s niece, then have professional photos taken. Sometimes I’m lucky and can talk them into matching costumes, and since this year she decided that she wanted to be Link from Legend of Zelda, getting my video game-obsessed son on board was a fairly easy task. After considerable thought, he decided that he wanted to be Skull Kid, one of the characters from “Majora’s Mask.”

I will pause here to ask my readers that if you ever hear me breathe one word about making a costume that includes a mask, please slap me until I promise not to.

Anyway!

Link’s costume was reasonably straightforward; I originally got Simplicity 8199 let’s-not-tempt-copyright-lawyers “Gaming Warrior” pattern in hopes of getting most of the pieces that I needed, but it was really quite a strange pattern: The hat attached to the corset, and it didn’t actually include trousers. I used it for just the turtleneck (and you could use pretty much any turtleneck pattern) and gauntlets. I made the trousers using Simplicity 4923, the tunic was a cut-off version of Simplicity 4213, and the hat was done freehand using the instructions found here. I did a little bit of detailing on the tunic sleeves, using green ribbon to replicate the stitching seen in images like this one. The belt was a leather belt I happened to have lying around. I freehanded a baldric out of the same microsuede I used for the gauntlets, just cutting a long strip, sewing it into a tube, and joining the ends.

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The Link Dump That Came to Sarnath

October 27th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Scarecrow – Cute little ‘toon.

My Favorite Spooky Plants – Twitter thread with lots of cool pictures.

Bat Friendly Tequila – Several brands of tequila are going the socially-responsible route by making their growing and harvesting procedures more friendly to the bats which pollinate them. You can read more about the project here.

Manimal Sanctuary – A “lurking simulator” in which you play a monster who consumes human emotions.

TKC Cozy Pawz – Custom pet costumes. The seller isn’t taking more orders until after Halloween, but there are some great photos. The Golden Retrievers dressed as Greek gods make me especially happy.

Hamburger Helper – I accept this anatomy as headcanon. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Legend of the Scarecrow – Touching little animated short. (via Shellhawk)

Brave Chef Brianna – Kid’s book about a young woman who sets up a restaurant in a city full of monsters.

Iguanamouth – Odd, evocative little ‘toon.

MonsterTalk – Podcast which “critically examines the science behind cryptozoological (and legendary) creatures.” (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

October 24th, 2017 by Cobwebs

be the reason why men are afraid to sail past the island you live on.
SketchesbyBoze

“What’s the point of living?” he asked.
“To help people, however you can,” said the oracle.
“That’s it?”
“It’s working for me.”
ASmallFiction

Bookworms don’t want stories about heroes. Tell us the backstory of Evil That Does Not Sleep! Why can’t it sleep? Is everything ok at home??
PaperFury

Guys. I’m here to red-pill you all.
You’ve never heard the actual Monster Mash. You’ve just heard a record *about* the Monster Mash.
Yeah.
Lawrence_Miles

As his name is not “Biggest Bird”, we are to understand that Sesame Street is home to at least one, perhaps more, truly immense unseen birds
tomwalkerisgood

every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
KimmyMonte

Smartest thing I ever did was attach my keyring to this cursed doll, now if I lose my keys they reappear on my doorstep covered in blood
timpratt

[blind date]
HER: I’m a ghost writer
ME {trying not to look too scared}: When did you die?
TheToddWilliams

My delusions of grandeur are mostly limited to the belief that I’d be a GREAT addition to a post-apocalyptic scrappy band of misfits
MaraWilson

what if when Dracula’s fangs came out they made that truck backing up noise
iamspacegirl

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

Game of Link Dumps

October 20th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Ava’s Dress – Spooky, evocative illustration done for Inktober.

Animal Guards – This made me giggle.

Cooking Price-Wise – An expanded edition of Vincent Price’s cookbook hast just been released, and includes contributions from his children and some additional recipes from his grandfather.

Stop Buying Dead Bats Online – They’re not ethically sourced and it’s causing environmental havoc.

On Balloons – Some thoughtful pet-rearing advice.

Mash the Patriarchy – Twitter account dedicated to celebrating the history of women brewing beer.

1770s High Wig Tutorial – Tutorial for re-creating an elaborate 1770s hairstyle. The entire Demode site is a great resource for period costuming.

Hellhound Service Animals – Marvelous list of suggestions for making traditionally scary supernatural creatures a little friendlier.

The Glass Hive – Etsy shop specializing in glass boxes and other small glass items. This coffin box is lovely. (via Spooky Moon)

Faith – Extremely creepy “retro” horror game. Free to play.

Posted in Link Dump | 4 Comments »

The Lion, the Witch, and the Link Dump

October 13th, 2017 by Cobwebs

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari – I somehow completely missed the fact that there was a remake of this, starring Doug Jones as Cesare. Jones also plays Count Orlok in an upcoming remake of Nosferatu.

Charlotte Dower, Monster Under Her Bed – This response to a writing prompt is wonderful.

Dead Friends – Sweetly macabre animated short. (Hat tip to DeVries)

My friend told me a story he hadn’t told anyone for years. – Neil Gaiman relates a story.

The Little Vampires – Odd little webcomic. (via WitchArachne)

Hipster Nativity Set – I have no words.

Dethskulpt – Super-creepy handmade ceramic mugs. (via Spooky Moon)

Whores of Yore – NSFW Twitter account celebrating vintage “jilts, cracks, prostitutes, nightwalkers, whores, she-friends, kind women & others of the linnen-lifting tribe.”

Stranger Things: The Game – Neat 8-bit game based on the series.

AnnaSiivonen – Etsy shop specializing in interesting metal jewelry, including neat spider earrings.

Posted in Link Dump | 4 Comments »

The Link Dump of the Rising Sun

October 6th, 2017 by Cobwebs

Something True – Podcast which explores “incredible and bizarre true stories from the footnotes of history.” The one about the rocket scientist who was fired for his obsession with the occult is pretty great. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Vampire Mom – This illustration is weirdly sweet.

A New “Hocus Pocus” Movie Is Officially In Development – It’s being developed for the Disney Channel instead of theatrical release. Still, neat.

Pool Noodle Vine Arch – Tutorial for a great-looking Halloween yard prop.

Jaguar Hearse – I’ve always loved the modified Jaguar from Harold and Maude, so it’s nice to see this reproduction.

Tiny Lizard Dragon – This li’l penny-hoarder is the cutest. (The art is by Iguanamouth and I would link directly to her site but I loathe her Tumblr theme to distraction and thus you get a reblog instead.)

tender d&d – Twitter bot which provides “nice and gentle D&D characters.” For example, “Cecil, the tiefling cleric born into a family of hamster breeders.”

Little Soaps of Horrors – Etsy shop full of very cool handmade soap. (Hat tip to pdq)

Hieronymus Bob – This made me giggle.

Let’s Sacrifice Toby – Some splendid retro-look T-shirt designs that look like a cross between Stephen King and a Little Golden Book.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Seen Online

October 4th, 2017 by Cobwebs

The dinosaurs didnt “rule the earth” they were just alive stop giving them credit for administrative skills they almost certainly didnt have
InternetHippo

First they came for the quantum physicists, but the quantum physicists hadn’t arrived, but also had left already, because fuck linear time.
thewritertype

Feeling sick? Ask:
Have I eaten?
Am I dehydrated?
Change in caffeine intake?
Cursed by a nymph after insulting a tree?
Picked wrong goblet?
grace_march

I’d like to think I have an adventurous spirit, but I probably would have climbed into the Narnia wardrobe and taken a nap on those coats.
LizHackett

[Antiques Roadshow]
When this was first painted, the wolves were much further in the background. I would sell it before they reach the frame
suntzufuntzu

When you die, a carny helps you out of your human body, waits to see if you’re going to throw up, then asks if you want to go again.
HMittelmark

Bringing an octopus to a gun fight buys you at least 10 additional seconds while your opponent stands there going “…octopus…”
KBSpangler

As an Australian it’s weird seeing Americans talk about some “Elf on the Shelf”. Do you not have the Christmas Spider or what
Ettin64

Be afraid. But don’t be very afraid. Not yet. Everything could get much worse, and you’ll have peaked too early.
thewritertype

Girls don’t want just any pockets. They want INDUSTRIAL POCKETS to fill with cake, nice rocks, pirate weapons, and a baby dragon they found.
PaperFury

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

It’s Secret Pumpkin Time Again!

October 2nd, 2017 by Cobwebs

Secret Pumpkin Logo

The Secret Pumpkin gift exchange was conceived as a way to soothe those spooky souls pining for October by sending them a little Halloween in April. It’s similar to a Secret Santa exchange but the gifts are supposed to be spooky in nature; you can read my previous description and details here.

And now it’s time to open up registration for next April’s exchange! If you’d like to participate, go to the Secret Pumpkin site:

1) If you did not participate last year, click the “Join” link and fill out the form.

2) If you DID participate last year, log in, click the “Update Profile” link and change the “Activate My Membership” option to Yes.

(Just in case it isn’t clear–folks have been confused in the past–I’m the person who manages the site, so you aren’t blindly submitting your mailing address to some anonymous stranger. You’re blindly submitting your mailing info to a well-known stranger.)

I’d previously suggested that participants should join one of the two Halloween listservs which originally spawned the exchange, but they’ve withered away so much that they may actually be defunct; instead I send occasional reminders directly to the participants.

You can sign up even if you aren’t in the U.S., and if you encourage friends from the same country to participate you don’t have to worry about exorbitant shipping. My script matches people in the same country preferentially, and at the end of the signup period I’ll let you know if you’re the only one in your country so you can decide whether or not to participate.

The deadline for signups is October 15. All that I ask is please, PLEASE don’t sign up for the exchange unless you’re serious about following through. We occasionally have participants flake out, and their Pumpkins are always sorely disappointed.

C’mon and join! It’s lots of fun, and getting something unexpectedly Halloweeny in April is a treat.

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