The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

April 24th, 2018 by Cobwebs

There’s a dead language you can speak to Alexa & she will open you a personal portal to hell.
DothTheDoth

Asked my 2 year old what her fav part of today’s Halloween party was and she pointed at thin air and said, “that ghost”. May move house.
simonpegg

Gandalf standing in front of the Gates of Moria trying to remember a password makes a lot more sense to me now than it did in 1984.
other_shoe

so many people are afraid to speak their truth cus they don’t wanna be “canceled” or whatever but i’ll come right out and say pretzels are just bread bones
jaboukie

The sun is probably the closest thing we’ll ever have to a true Eldritch Abomination. Hear me out here-
* Older than recorded history; was here longer than any of us and will be here long after we leave. Has a finite beginning and end but is still incomprehensibly ancient
* Burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long
* Further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths
* Non-humanoid shape floating through space; colossal flaming tentacles angrily lash out on occasion
* Sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children
* People used to sacrifice other people to appease it
* Pretty sure it screams at us sometimes
ndiecity

Chefs seem obsessed with removing more and more of the original structure of foods:

Salmon mousse
Basil foam
Strawberry dust
Parmesan air

Where does it end?

Venison déjà vu
A memory of broccoli
A vicious rumour about carrots

ThereWillBeGin

Reading up on the order of animals that contains cockroaches and termites and now my brain has subbed in the word “blattodea” for “Amadeus” in the song “Rock Me, Amadeus.”
scalzi

Hate when SF novels pretend they’re based on a found manuscript and start off with an “academic” saying “yeah we found this in a cave” when any actual academic paper starts with “this proves professor douchebag wrong suck it dave”
quendergeer

Everyone always talks about the 8 spiders you eat in your sleep every year but no one ever talks about the months long trial the spiders hold before sentencing those 8 spiders to that fate.
NeilaK20

Give me a cup of coffee, a house with a horrifying backstory & a ghost to murder me.
DothTheDoth

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Link Dump at Tiffany’s

April 20th, 2018 by Cobwebs

The New Deal – You’ve gotta really hate a piece of legislation to spend three months embroidering an intricate scorpion demon representing its evils. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Funko Pop: Death – “Death” from Neil Giaman’s Sandman comics will be available as a Funko figure in June.

Host of Ghosts – Cute, easy idea for enlivening (so to speak) cakes and other desserts with li’l poofy ghosts.

Tarantula Burgers – A North Carolina restaurant has a limited-time hamburger topped with a roasted tarantula. Woo; edgy. I hope they’re ethically sourced.

Your Old Lady-Sona – One of many wonderful responses to this prompt.

Snowba Fett and Ariel Fett – Really detailed cosplay of Snow White/Ariel-Boba Fett mashups. The cosplayers (Traci Hines and Amber Arden) frequently riff on the characters, including steampunk and rococo versions. This eyeball flower from Hines’ “Creepy Alice in Wonderland” cosplay is neat, too.

Profile Picture vs. Tagged Photo – It’s oddly comforting that some things never change.

Cabinet of Curiosities Halloween Party – Unusual theme idea.

Beholder Cake – Amazingly realistic cake made for a D&D event.

Good Boy – Amusing ‘toon. (via Pixel Pixie)

Posted in Whatever | 2 Comments »

All the Pretty Link Dumps

April 13th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Adopt a HeroRAT – You’ve probably heard of the African pouched rats who have been trained to sniff out landmines and detect diseases like tuberculosis. You can sponsor one and get monthly emails with news about what “your” rat has been up to.

Man-Eating Plant – Tutorial for making a chompy-looking giant carnivorous plant using a foam craft pumpkin as the head.

annieelf – Artist who makes cute polymer clay baby elves, many of which look like vampires or Cthulhu or similar creepy things. (via Spooky Moon)

Bone Dry – Cute stop motion-animated video for The Eels’ new album, done by Anthony Scotts (whose previous work includes Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride). Also I really like the idea of somebody saying, “Get me the best skeleton animator in the world.”

Watermelon Shark – Instructions for carving a watermelon into a shark who helpfully holds fruit salad in his maw.

Kate Clark – This artist sculpts human faces on taxidermy animals. Her artist’s statement says, “They are obviously reconstructed yet they are not monstrous, they are approachable, natural, calm, innocent, dignified.” Uh, no; they are creepy as fuck.

Cemetery Mixtape – Podcast about famous graves, with original songs about them. Tagline: “it’s like unboxing videos, only with graves.” (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Velociprincesses – Laura Cooper, who draws the webcomic XP, has a side project where she draws various Disney princesses (including Star Wars princesses) as velociraptors. The Cinderella one cracked me up.

Persephone – This amusing Twitter thread goes a long way toward explaining the current spring weather.

Deadly Grounds Coffee – Their tagline is “coffee to die for,” insert weary rimshot here.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Seen Online

April 10th, 2018 by Cobwebs

I guess you can do gender reveal parties if that’s your thing, but I notice with some disappointment that no one is doing parties to reveal if the baby is evil or not.
SamSykesSwears

priest: you’re never alone my child, the spirit is always with you
me: thanks for the reminder father
*one of the sixteen victorian cholera ghosts that constantly cling to me pats my cheek gently*
spookperson

yes im a girl. yes i wear makeup. no im not wearing the makeup to conceal the terrible prophecy i wrote on my skin so it would survive the trip home from the future. honestly idk why you would even Ask me that
knifehaver

your body is a ghost factory that takes one lifetime to produce a ghost
aRealLiveGhost

“Be yourself,” they say, and then when you point out that your perfect man is Jareth from Labyrinth crossed with Mr. Rogers, they look at you funny.
HillaryMonahan

Good night
Sleep tight
You are technically a ghost and a skeleton living together inside a meat tuxedo
♡♡♡
gaileyfrey

budget version of lord of the rings wherein gandalf goes to the wall of mordor and yells up at a single orc
“Hey, is Sauron there?”
“Yeah,” the orc shouts back.
“Well, tell him to knock it off!”
And then it is over.
SamSykesSwears

As your goth financial advisor I urge you to invest in a secret staircase. I don’t care where it goes. That’s between you & the staircase.
DothTheDoth

every cat falls into one of the following categories:
• looks like it knows how to use a sword but refuses to teach you
• looks like it just finished eating an éclair
ka_waltz

🍀ATTENTION EVERYONE!🍀 ✴️LIMITED TIME OFFER✴️
COME AWAY
O HUMAN CHILD
TO THE WATERS AND THE WILD*
*with a faery, hand in hand**
**some exclusions and limitations apply
‡world may be full of more weeping than you can understand
mstiefvater

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

The Link Dump of the Black Lagoon

April 6th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Time Travel Organizations – I would watch the hell out of a TV show with this premise.

Empathy Cards For Serious Illness – I think my favorite is, “When life gives you lemons, I won’t tell you a story about my cousin’s friend who died of lemons.”

Civilizations at the End of Time: Dying Earth – A look at the far future, and the end of the Earth. (Or, as submitterator Bruno described it, “gothic futurism.”)

Zombie Outbreak Writing Prompt – This is a brilliant idea.

She Who Hungers, She Who Waits – Evocative, creepy short story about parasitic goddesses and sacrifice.

The Secret Sexual World of America’s Renaissance Faires – I don’t think anybody who’s ever been to a RenFaire would be surprised that they’re popular with the BDSM crowd but it apparently surprised this author.

The Beautiful Men of Goth and Post-Punk – A photo roundup.

Hiding Easter Eggs – I have accepted Sarah Gailey’s thread about the holiday ecosystem as headcanon.

The Box of Astaroth – Artist Dan Baines makes wonderfully spooky miniature “ritual cabinets.”

The House with a Clock in Its Walls – A movie based on the classic children’s horror novel will be released in September. Oh, hooray! Starring Jack Black. Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »