The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

April 24th, 2018 by Cobwebs

There’s a dead language you can speak to Alexa & she will open you a personal portal to hell.
DothTheDoth

Asked my 2 year old what her fav part of today’s Halloween party was and she pointed at thin air and said, “that ghost”. May move house.
simonpegg

Gandalf standing in front of the Gates of Moria trying to remember a password makes a lot more sense to me now than it did in 1984.
other_shoe

so many people are afraid to speak their truth cus they don’t wanna be “canceled” or whatever but i’ll come right out and say pretzels are just bread bones
jaboukie

The sun is probably the closest thing we’ll ever have to a true Eldritch Abomination. Hear me out here-
* Older than recorded history; was here longer than any of us and will be here long after we leave. Has a finite beginning and end but is still incomprehensibly ancient
* Burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long
* Further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths
* Non-humanoid shape floating through space; colossal flaming tentacles angrily lash out on occasion
* Sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children
* People used to sacrifice other people to appease it
* Pretty sure it screams at us sometimes
ndiecity

Chefs seem obsessed with removing more and more of the original structure of foods:

Salmon mousse
Basil foam
Strawberry dust
Parmesan air

Where does it end?

Venison déjà vu
A memory of broccoli
A vicious rumour about carrots

ThereWillBeGin

Reading up on the order of animals that contains cockroaches and termites and now my brain has subbed in the word “blattodea” for “Amadeus” in the song “Rock Me, Amadeus.”
scalzi

Hate when SF novels pretend they’re based on a found manuscript and start off with an “academic” saying “yeah we found this in a cave” when any actual academic paper starts with “this proves professor douchebag wrong suck it dave”
quendergeer

Everyone always talks about the 8 spiders you eat in your sleep every year but no one ever talks about the months long trial the spiders hold before sentencing those 8 spiders to that fate.
NeilaK20

Give me a cup of coffee, a house with a horrifying backstory & a ghost to murder me.
DothTheDoth

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