I was going to try and write some kind of summary explaining this whole thing, but the more I think about it, I don’t think it’s possible to explain this whole thing. Best to just let it exist in its own little pocket of weirdness.
Mess with cat
Get Scrooge to check his shit
Move knick knacks
Gaze at cheeseburger, unable to weep
I just went to Jane Austen third base: making unpleasant eye contact with a handsome man on subway.
My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say “You can see me?”
if you want to avoid the world’s aggressive gendering of your infant, consider skipping the pink dresses or blue coveralls in favor of dressing your baby solely in tiny halloween costumes
strangers on the sidewalk: aww, is it a boy or a girl?
I’ve had this parked in my Drafts folder since…lessee…October 2012. Huh. It was originally written for an “Urban Legends” guest post-o-rama at Shellhawk’s Nest, but I’d like it to have a home here too. This is, to my eternal shame, a real urban legend local to me. Sigh.
Some places get vanishing hitchhikers. Some get ghosts that warn trains of an impending crash. The terrifying local legend where I live? A guy in a bunny suit.
No, not this kind.
I’ve been ripped off.
Bunny Man Bridge is a small railroad overpass near Clifton, VA. It is supposed to be stalked by a man wearing a bunny suit. Yes, he’s usually said to be carrying an axe or similar weapon, and yes, the legends say that he attacks and mutilates anyone foolish enough to be near the bridge after dark, but I really can’t get past the outfit. Being murdered by someone dressed like a giant rabbit isn’t terrifying, it’s embarrassing.
The bunny in question is variously reported to be an escaped convict, a refugee from a nearby (non-existent) insane asylum, or a local lunatic who graduated from mutilating wildlife to murdering children. Since “rabbit” and “insane murderer” don’t seem to have any obvious link, the lapin connection is usually explained by tacked-on details such as numerous remains of snacked-upon rabbits being found in the area (or, in the case of the asylum escapee, that he was originally committed for murdering his family on–dun dun dun!!!–Easter Sunday). Nobody explains where he got the suit.
A local historian has identified the probable origin of the legend: In 1970 there were two incidents involving a man–dressed, yes, in a bunny costume–who threatened people with a hatchet whilst yelling at them for trespassing. Over the past 40 years, generations of teenagers have expanded and distorted and added details until what was probably a Furry annoyed at having his private sexytimes interrupted is now a horrible spectral murderer who…is still wearing a bunny suit. Dammit, I really can’t get past the bunny suit.
Particularly annoying is that this legend has gained enormous traction throughout the Washington DC area. Civil War battles were fought all over this region. We could have legends about ghostly armies locked in eternal combat, or bloody Confederate soldiers who attack campers, or phantom funeral trains carrying rows of soldiers’ coffins.
What are we actually known for? A big cranky rabbit.
Since I read Divergent a few years ago, I became hyperaware of the sort of tropes that have become overused in YA novels
Things like trains, overly simplified first-person narration, and love triangles. I started another parody Twitter account a few months ago @GuyInYourMFA, and I realized how fun it was to skewer overused literary cliches.
So, two nights ago, I decided to do the same thing for YA writing, not really intending it to be a full or cohesive story, more just a collection of random sentences and elements.
But as I wrote and saw the response, I realized it would definitely be more interesting to try to add plot and tell something from start to finish.
Richard Grayson is a composer and pianist who is known for improvising classical music. In a concert in 2009 he received a request from the audience to do Darth Vader’s theme in the style of Beethoven.