If I’m ever being followed in a car, I’m gonna go to a fast food drive-thru and test their commitment.
When Frankenstein Jr. was kidnapped, his father cunningly just waited for the kidnappers to send him all the bits.
There’s a foster home for body parts in my neighbourhood and it’s raising a lot of eyebrows.
A baby werewolf would be great, as one day a month, your baby would turn into a puppy!
People always slam elevator music and that’s very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.
Late at night leave some broken, muddy planks outside an undertakers with a note: “Your puny coffins cannot hold me. I shall return.”
If you’re about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open
Shark:[nervously makes house noises]
If the movie “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” took place in Australia, those kids would have died real fucking quick.
“The Monster Mash” is my favorite song about a scientist making excuses to his wife for coming home late and smelling of monster.