Real women have razor-sharp teeth and barbed tentacles and oh god who opened a portal to the real women dimension THEY’RE COMING RUN
I am not paying for a full year membership at the Y when I only need the pool long enough to hold one hamster Viking funeral.
I love how in Addams Family Values at the beginning they’re like is it a boy? is a girl? and Gomez is just like IT’S AN ADDAMS :D like stop trying to gender my baby, it’s goth that’s all that matters
[medusa’s husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]
You are haunted by the ghosts of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddemore, and there absolutely no one you can call
Ghosts are hard to photograph because, when alive, many didn’t believe in ghosts, and now they’re embarrassed to be ghosts, so they hide.
Every time I feel unexpected pain, I wonder if my descendants got hit so hard that their ancestors could feel it.
A man I don’t know tells me to smile. My jaw unhinges and the True Me emerges from my throat. She is smiling, but not like he’d hoped.
Cthulhu, as an eldritch being, sees humans as humans see insects;
which is to say, harmless but inexplicably terrifying.
#cthulhu chasing humanity around with a shoe while crying
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s the result of a freak lab accident that altered her DNA and turned her into a–look, just run already.