Did you know that you actually can never forget a face? Every single face you’ve ever seen during your life gets stored into your memories, and gets used up later. For example, in dreams your brain can’t just make up a face. Every single face you’ve seen in your dream, you’ve seen somewhere once in your life.
And those strange nightmares you’ve had of those terrible demon like creatures?
You’ve seen them around too, you just cant remember. You don’t want to remember.
this post started off as a John Green novel and ended as a Stephen King.
There’s a fun thread over on BoingBoing where everyone is playing Corrupt-a-Wish:
The rules are simple:
I make a wish, and the next person to post finds an ironic way to derive bad consequences from granting the wish, or to otherwise tag a downside to it, and so on and so forth.
i wish i had a Corvette
granted. you got it real cheap because it was crushed under a giant anvil.
i wish i was the most attractive person in the world
granted. you are the most attractive person in the world, and both sexes now want your body.
i wish i had a big, juicy steak.
granted. how’s your diet going?
i wish i was invulnerable to every kind of harm.
…and so on, with the next person thinking up a Monkey’s Paw-like twist to the previous person’s wish, then making a wish of their own. It sounds like it’d be fun to play with friends, either in person or on a Facebook or blog thread. If my commentariat wants to come out of the woodwork, we can try it here as well.
I’ll start: I wish I had the power to read other peoples’ minds, but only when I chose to do so.
Live each day as if it were your last, ’cause I’m gonna kill you but I’m not super-good w/schedules
“Is the Book Report any good?”
“How’s it prepared?”
A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it.
“Ooh, I’ll have that.”
I’m not saying you’re easy…
But it takes Tim Burton more effort to get Johnny Depp in a movie of his.
I walked by you carrying a cage full of bats in birthday hats. You pretended not to see us. What is your home address,
I’d actually be more offended if I got to hell and there WEREN’T a special place for me there.
All of the creepy ghosts in my house live in the 5 yards of hallway between my bathroom to my bedroom.
A friend borrowed my Sandman books to read during chemo. My ankh-wearing, goth daughter offered to retrieve them. Bad idea? @neilhimself
I’ve always wondered. When retailers say “PRODUCT X AT UNHEARD OF PRICES!”, do they make up an entirely new number system? Or just not talk?
“I WILL SELL THIS SUIT TO YOU AT FRUMTHRUBBLE STERBILJOTES, MY GOOD SIR!”
“FINE, HERFNURT STERBILJOTES. A HARD BARGAIN INDEED.”
No thanks Ouija boards, I don’t even want to talk to the living.
I want to see a Miyazaki Hentai – like, there’s tentacles, but they’re respectful and just do chores. #honor
YouTube channel KFaceTV is dedicated to “Nerd-centric” parodies and comical shorts, with videos like Talk Nerdy to Me and a Hunger Games parody of Ariana Grande’s “Problem.” In their latest release they apparently managed to dig up every Harry Potter geek in Utah (and a python named Snape) to show how Voldemort parties before attacking Hogwarts.
Reddit has a category called Shower Thoughts, where people share the random minor epiphanies that often seem to hit when one is standing in the shower. A Tumblr called Just Shower Thoughts collects some of the best of them. Some are amusing–I think my favorite is, “I wonder what my dog named me”–but a lot of them are nicely macabre. Here’s a sampling:
Tomorrow I graduate. In all likelihood at least one picture taken will be used at my funeral to remember me. Tomorrow I pose for my funeral.
Most people are buried in suits and stuff so a zombie apocalypse would be a formal event
Eating a potato is pretty Irish, but so is not eating a potato.
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become huge underground maracas.
A good tattoo parlor would be one that keeps a couple dictionaries in the waiting room.
Candles are how we keep fires as pets
I wonder if I’ve already bought the clothes I’m going to die in.
Ice cubes float around in pools of their own blood…
Whenever I kill a bug, I wonder how many zillions of years back we shared a common ancestor. Aeons ago, a clutch of eggs hatched; some young wriggled this way, others that way; the lineages diverged…and now these two descendants have met in this fatal way.
“Show them what we’re made of” is a terrible battle cry when fighting with swords.
The swimming pool in the Titanic is still full.
I just realized that “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side” is a joke about suicide
If the first person Arnold had encountered had been a drag queen on a motor scooter, The Terminator would have been quite a different movie.
Spiders are the classic everyday vigilante. They are generally misunderstood, everyone hates them, and yet, they protect us from having to deal with all of the shitty bugs we would otherwise encounter in their absence.
There are songs you’ve already heard for the last time.
There’s also a Twitter feed run by the moderators which features additional gems.
I’m a sucker for a good film trailer mashup. When filmmaker Steve Ramsden noticed that Wes Anderson and Stanley Kubrick frame their shots in a similar way, the only logical thing was to create “Wes Anderson’s The Shining.”
Maybe bats leave Hell in a slow and orderly fashion.
me: all our teeth fall out as children and then they all grow back stronger
alien: okay, i mean…that definitely sounds fake, but…okay.
When it’s my time, I just want to go in a way that leaves my Wikipedia entry a “Death and Aftermath” section.
An all-cat Ghostbusters reboot that’s just 90 minutes of them staring intently and occasionally meowing at a blank wall.
Game of Thrones gets a lot less dramatic when you remind yourself Lannisters, Starks, and Greyjoys alike all have to shit in fancy buckets.
In Australia it was called The Passion of the Crikey.
Why would you not name your pet shark Jump?
I think that the moment right before you die, you hear your mother calling you inside as the streetlights flicker on
Actually, I’m leasing a stairway to heaven.
I also craft artisinal bustles, specifically for hedgerows, which have the quality of not alarming passers-by.
i’ve figured out that horror games with grotesque monsters and spooky environments are -9000 scary if you pretend you’re steve irwin on a mission to document the monster(s)
“Lookie there. That’s a six-foot grunt from the basement. A-hm gonna wrassle it.”