The Art of Darkness

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August 19th, 2022 by Cobwebs

Shakespeare is great because he’s like “oh someone just died? you’re crying? here’s a weird little freak”

Enough talk about “bikini bodies”. Fall is almost here; now you need a body with a detachable pumpkin head that you can throw at your foes riding on horseback.

i think what i liked most about my first time having sex was that glowy feeling from head to toe you get after realizing you can’t be thrown into a volcano as a sacrifice anymore

In a humiliating assessment of my competence, life has given me lemonade.

In zombie movies they make a huge deal about not letting anybody bite you but I’ve actually been doing that already.

“morning person??” oh no you’ve misheard me. I’m a mourning person. always in black, talking about ghosts and bones, in a constant state of grief for the unknown dead.

SHAKESPEARE: to be or not to be, that is the question
SCHRĂ–DINGER: see this guy gets it

people don’t know this, but you can say “trick or treat” any time of the year. it’s always a valid ultimatum

me: I got a ghost I need busted
friend: call the ghostbusters
me: do they have a website or app?
friend: no you gotta call
me: well I guess I’m stuck with this fuckin ghost then

it’s still so funny to me that Agatha Christie’s first husband tried to leave her and she faked her own death to get even. like you think you can just divorce Agatha Christie? a woman who gets paid to invent crimes?

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

2 Responses

  1. Jenna Says:

    glad to see you still posting!

  2. Mim Says:

    You divorce AGATHA? You leave her like a regular woman? Oh, scandal for husband, scandal for ONE THOUSAND YEARS*.

    *Eleven days, anyhow.

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