Seen Online
a movie where the family 100% knows the house is haunted but, due to the housing shortage, decides to just make the best of it. like remember kids, buddy system!! if spiders come out of the faucet you can skip bath! there is never a good enough reason to go in the cellar!!
— AlixEHarrow
saying “hm. must be the curse” every time something bad happens and refusing to elaborate is my new hobby
— holorifle
You never hear about Cinderella’s Fairy Godfather who turned all of her enemies into corpses.
— OhNoSheTwitnt
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day
You stuffed it underneath the floorboards with the rest of my corpse until the sound of my heartbeat intensified your descent into madness
— SparkNotes
First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol
First night as a vampire hunter: oh no
— PopeAwesomeXIII
did we ever find out how the vampire’s interview went? did he get the job
— Kristen_Arnett
sorry for my behavior, my leitmotif was playing in a minor key
— bookishseawitch
man: but what about the times i saw 8 footprints on the beach?
spiderchrist: [hiding in the shadows] oh that was just normal beach stuff. step into the web my child
— MNateShyamalan
To me, Christmas isn’t about perfection or consumerism. It’s about family togetherness. It’s about trading ghost stories with will-o’-the-wisps. It’s about forming snow into giant crabs and bringing them to life. It’s about running from the peppermint beasts in a torchlit cavern.
— JeremyCShipp
H.P. Lovecraft: Your limited human mind cannot comprehend Cthulhu
Me: (comprehending easily) Squid guy
— AlexBlechman
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